For once…

warning: this could get long.

i’m sorry i haven’t updated.  i haven’t exactly been home.  first i was in virginia for a week, then i was home for thanksgiving, then i left for new york for just over a week.

about the title…  For once: my life is shitty and i have done everything in my power to change that.  let me count the ways.

the girl i was dating (i guess you could call it that, at least, that’s what i thought it was…) turned out to have a boyrfriend that she "forgot" to mention.  so basically (not that i regret this persay) wasted how many meals (all of which i paid for) and time vying for her attention.  *sigh*  i told a friend the other day that i really really am having a hard time caring about this kind of thing (for this exact reason) if it wasn’t for the fact that i’m very unhappy with this part of my life.

second thing… i went to new york to audition for the Seattle Opera Young Artist Program.  its like an apprenticeship.  basically i learn italian and how to act and such.  very hard to get in mind you…

well i flew to new york so that Speight Jenkins (general director of Seattle Opera) would see me there instead of here in Seattle again.  i’ve already auditioned for him 4 times here.  well, i did really well at the first audition.  then for the week i went to connecticut and boston to see friends.  then came back and promptly fell very ill.  sore throat, really bad cough (which i still have) and what not…  needless to say i had to cancel my callback the following monday and just come home…  i so badly wanted to be able to sing for him there.  i was very excited and very prepared.

i was/am so disappointed by all this that my stomach isn’t right and i haven’t been sleeping or eating properly (which isn’t particularly bad, just means i’ll lose that much more weight…) 

it gets worse however…  (mind you, i want you to realise that so far all of these factors were mainly out of my control).

my sister forgot to add me to a list to come with her on a field trip (this is after she asked me while she had the list in front of her), i saw some pictures in connecticut that made me think on things i would have rather kept locked away in the deep recesses of my mind…  and i unsuccessfully attempted to have intimate relations with someone in boston, all of which became huge embarassments to me. 

my life is quickly going down the shitter, and i’m trying my damnest to not let it.  seems as if the fates even are out to get me…  for once in my life i’ve put in a huge effort to make things go well and this is the outcome i get.  work my ass off and have nothing to show for it.

for the love of god, just ONCE GIVE ME A BREAK!

i just want to curl up into a ball and go to sleep forever.  execpt, unlike rip van winkle, i don’t particularly care to wake up again.

– noah