part one

my weekend spiraled out of control.

after my escapade to ludington i crashed at my apartment. spend most of saturday at my parents house milling around. went back to the apartment around 7 and ran into the dreaded roomates. they left multiple menacing messages while i was in AA with Hannah. (AA=Ann Arbor not Alcoholics Anonymous) So I call Alexia, for what seems like the millionth time because she never returns my phone calls. She finally calls me back and says she "my frriends josh and jordan invited me over to watch a movie tonight" now keep in mind i know josh and jordan, they may not be my "friends" but we are accquaintances and have hung out MANY times. So I ask if i can go, and my best friend of 6 years says….

"do you really feel comfortable inviting yourself like that?"

what the fuck? did she honestly say that to me? i yelled at her for never inviting me anywhere, and never returning my phones calls and just generally being shitty. and she said, okay, whatever…i’ll call you later.

which of course she never did.

then this morning i got an email from her. apparently she mallory and jaime are having a group birthday party. their birthdays are August 19th, August 29th and November 19th, and even thought my birthday is September 19th, which not only falls inbetween August and NOvember, it fits the 19th criteria, AND!!! the idea of a mom’s and daughters birthday party was my idea last year, my name was still not on the invitation. whatever, that part doesn’t even really bother me and borders on a juvenile fight.  it’s just another straw on the camels back.

then i read her blog, in which she details this AMAZING!! weekend she and her friends had, and about all these great things they did. which not a single one of my friends called and invited me too. and she then proceeded to write an entire paragraph about how she is eradicating all of her fake friends from her life and is so glad they aren’t around anymore. and that part is tearing me apart. because i think it was aimed at me, and if it was….then i want to know what the hell i did to make our friendship ingenuine…

alexia has been my best friend for YEARS, and i don’t understand what is happening.
i send her an email saying i didn’t understand what was going on, and that i would like her to tell me.
and she left me a myspace comments which said,

"damn girl, when did you start looking so hott?"

and i wonder, if she if bipolar or what. how the hell does she go from bitching at me for ‘inviting’ myself to a party and then saying i’m hot? i’m devestated, because if i loose her i don’t have much else left. she is(was) my rock.