what child is this

i started this decade
in fear and love
and now
a month out
it looks like
i’ll end it
in sorrow and remorse

you’ll never know it
but you just disarmed me
from across the miles and miles
a dagger through my gullet
a completion worthy of dismae
though you aren’t her
and i’m not nimac for you

i spoke bravely
i spoke truthfully
when i said
i’d find a way
but i know now
that it was foolish
the stars may be mine
to guide along their merry way
but your heart has always been
a stallion i cannot break