Arguments with Dan

This is where I am going to document all of the arguments Dan and I have during each day so we can talk about them in therapy.

7/8/10

When we are at the Grocery Store I am annoyed because I am tired and hungry. I am also more annoyed with the fact that we have food at home because we had just went grocery shopping and didn’t eat any of the food we bought. I didn’t see the point of going grocery shopping again but I am there and I’m okay with this not angry. I tell dan that I am annoyed by this een before we leave. While he are at the store Dan wants to get a pizza I say "Dan we already have 2 pizzas at home we don’t need another one" in an annoyed voice. He gets sad and says I am yelling at him and mad all the time. I say I am not yelling at him or mad, but this makes me even more annoyed because he gets so sad and mopey so easily over nothing. We go back and forth on this for a while until something distracts us.
Dan and I were in the car and when I am in the car I love listening to music. I told Dan that I was going to play a song that meant a lot to me and reminded me of a certain time in my life. I told him he should listen and give me feedback. Not even 30 seconds into the song he starts talking about something else. I pause the song and say that I asked him to listen, he says he has heard this song a million times, but I ask him to please listen to it and imagine the circumstances I say it reminds me of. Then I reply to what he said, after he is done talking I unpause the song but soon after I can still tell he isn’t listening he says something about traffic to himself and then he says something else to me unrelated to the song. I pause the song and reply to what he is saying but it is obvious that I am annoyed. After I reply to him I tell him to just forget about listening to the song, to tell me whatever he wants to tell me now and then when I unpause it he can think about whatever he wants to but please do not talk while I am trying to listen to my song because it means a lot to me to hear the lyrics. This is when he gets sad and saying things like "I don’t understand why you are mad at me" in a victimized voice. We argue a bit over me being mad, and the need to listen to the song because of what it means to me and him wanting to talk etc. I get annoyed by him first for not caring about the song and second for being so sad and victimized when I say lets just drop it and you not listen to it and not talk. Anyways I turn it back on and we don’t talk until it is over. With other songs he does the same thing and I pause my songs everytime he has something to say.
When we get to the house dan says he calls the computer. We have been away from home for 5 days so both of us hardly got to use the computer. Earlier I had said that I wanted to use the computer after I took a shower and he said ok. I told him this and he started talking about how I will have 7 and a half hours to use it while he is at work. I think about how I will have the cam during those 7 and a half hours but I don’t say it out load because I’m not sure if I will. I get mad/annoyed because I was going to write in my diary tonight and now he wants the computer all night so I say "what do you even do on there make recipes that you never make" he gets offended by that and acts sad. I get annoyed that he gets sad. We argue a bit about that. He also says what is he suppose to do while I am on the computer, I say idk whatever I do while you are on? After a couple minutes I feel bad for saying that thing about him watching videos of food he never makes, and I also think about how he has no other pasttimes except using the computer and I have plenty other ones so I just tell him I will listen to music and read my bible while he is on the computer. He refuses and says come on you can use it. I get annoyed because I already told him he can use it and im not lying. He keeps saying that and I get really annoyed and almost yell at him. He acts really sad/bottled up anger/moody. When he is getting out of the car his ipod falls and he just almost crys and lashes out in anger. I tell him he is moody even when he’s not at work he’s always moody over everything. We dont talk anymore about this.
We are at the house. Dan says come here. I come over to lay on the bed to cuddle with him. I notice he has bad breathe from food he just ate and it doesnt put me in the mood to kiss someone with bad breath so I tell him that his mouth smells like the food he just ate. He gets offended and sad and says ok fine we dont have to cuddle. I say no we can cuddle just not kiss, and I put him arm over me. He just lays here lifeless. I tell him come on. He says I ruined the mood. I say fine tongue kiss me and get your enjoyment out of cuddling while I am grossed out in my mind and not even in the mood from it. He just acts sad and mopey and leaves the room. This makes me annoyed. When he comes back I say come on dan whats wrong lets cuddle, he says I ruined the moment so now there is no point since he grosses me out and he just shouldn’t eat anymore. This annoys me even more and I say sarcastically yeah dan what a great idea then I can stop eating and start throwing up again to, I also say seriously I gosh dan you dont have to get so emotional everyone gets bad breath i dont think your gross. He just acts sad still. We never cuddle until a while later when he is chewing gum. I tell him I can still smell it but laughing then he tries to curl up in a little ball but I kiss him anyways. We dont reallly cuddle that long.