Failure

 So I’m failing at dans house. Everyday his mom yells at him at least once for something I did wrong. I didn’t clean the bathtub out enough, I didn’t straighten the towel after I was done using it, I got some water on the ground in the bathroom. It’s all so different here and I don’t think i’m ever really gonna learn to fit in. It makes me so mad when I listen to Dan’s mom yelling at him, she says her house is being treated like a ghetto fraphouse or some shit like that. She doesn’t know what ghetto is. I’m sorry that I didn’t straighten your towel right lady, but please don’t diss my dads because the only reason I don’t live there is because I have PTSD. My "Ghetto" house is more beautiful and more full of life and love than yours ever will be. I don’t fit in here and i’ll never learn. There will always be something I forgot about doing. I tried wiping the sink off after I was done washing my tattoo, and all I did with the towel was pat dry my tattoo, i didnt even take it off the rack but Dan still got yelled at because for some reason it wasn’t good enough. I’m not good enough for here, I try my hardest to learn how to be even more OCD than I already am but and I’m starting not to care. She says if we can’t straighten up within a week were out of here. And i’m starting to think I should just leave because its obvious my presence is not wanted. Dan said he doesn’t want to leave because it will cost money to live at my dads but if he doesn’t come along it won’t. I guess we will still see each other just live in different places because I know dans mom hates me here. I’m just going to go home where I belong. I can’t be alone so maybe I will ask sabrina if she wants to live with me like she said. I never should have told my dad i’m bi. But fuck it it’s like I have nowhere to go anyways, my old room is now my moms room so its like I have no home. I say I wanna go home but to where? I wish life could be simpler but when you grow up poor its so hard to stop. I need to cam to get the money to get my own place. Camming is my ONLY option. I know it may be wrong but it’s the only option now. This is what it’s like to grow up poor and hardly have a home because your less than perfect. I don’t know what to feel right now just like a failure.