breathing

Its an incredible thing to think about life.  Yesterday I turned 21.  It didnt seem like such a big deal, but at the same time it seemed to waken this thought in my head about who I really am.  Who I am isnt defined by what i’ve accomplished in my 21 years.  It doesnt matter if I’m married or single.  If I’ve graduated from college, have a career or traveled the world.  The things I used to think would make me a better person seem so far from what I feel now.  It doesnt matter what I drive, the clothes I wear, the people I’ve met, or how much money I make.  None of it even matters.

I’ve been so worried about living my life the "right" way.  Who’s to say whats right and whats wrong?  Just because its different, doesnt mean its wrong.  I used to want to be "normal".  But what I’ve come to realize is what some people consider to be normal, isnt for someone else.  There is nothing wrong with feeling different, being different.

I’ve been trying to be someone I’m not because I was afraid to be different. I was afraid to be myself.  I’ve been afraid to feel. I’ve been afraid to breathe.

We try to live responsible, logical lives.            But we cant tell our hearts what to feel.           Sometimes our hearts lead us to places we never thought we wanted to go. And sometimes our hearts can be the sweetest, gentlest things we have.  Sometimes our hearts can make us feel miserable, angry, excited and confused all at once.  But at least my heart is open, and I’m dreaming again. I’m feeling. I’m breathing.

theres a part of me inside of you
holding to you and what you want me to be
you have to let me go
you have to let me breathe
love me… for me.
not what you wanted me to be