When it’s good…its real good but when it’s bad…kill me…continued

Sometimes some tell me that I shouldn’t be so open n honest bout Darnell’s n mine relationship because it makes me look weak…like a sucka. The way I see it is…shit everyone knows how he is anyways n I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t forthcoming bout shit n my life. Some choose to act as if everything is peaches n cream n go bout their life like no one knows any different. Shit…its no secret he’s cheated because he has a child out of it. Anyone can add…so ppl know we been n it for 7+ years…n then here comes this child who is only 5 years old…so why try n pretend! There has been countless women thru out the years…some have come to me via internet n couldn’t wait to expose that they were fuckin my dude. I gather they were hurt when they found out he was in a relationship with me n just wanted to hurt me in return….some couldn’t wait to tell me because they were convinced that they were *taking my man from me* so they wanted to be messy…some were truly in love with him n felt the need to run their mouths to me out of competition….some felt the need to send me pics n a video of their sexcapades with him. They were all disappointed because I refuse to argue or fight or entertain battling it out over a man who clearly don’t deserve the effort. Most times I actually feel bad for the ones who had no clue. It’s not them I’m upset with…it’s him who needs to get punched n the face for lying and fuckin with women’s minds n hearts. Plus…no matter what I already know that he don’t ever plan on leaving me (not bragging…im not proud of that) I just know what his family has told me…n I’ve been *THE WOMAN* he can’t let go of. When we have seperated…hes never been the one to walk out…its always been me. N he’s always been the one to ask me to come back. Please don’t take it as me bring cocky cuz im definitely not intending for that to come across…im just speaking it how it is. So I’ve advocated for the women who got caught up with him on a lie…ilie…i feel for them because they r the victims. But for the Snatches who knew he was living and in a full blown relationship with a woman…yah…them the one’s I laugh at n them the one’s who I scoff at n their face because BITCH u knew n u thought so little of urself as a woman to THINK I was going anywhere n that u were going to step into my position…U DESERVE TO BE HURT FOR HAVING NO RESPECT N THINKING U GOT IT OVER ME…I would stay n it just to spite them thots…just to prove a point. Them type’s drive me to be petty! 

I refuse to fight over a man who does women like that…but I will rub it n a Bitch face who has no morals n values n who *THINKS* They deserve to push me out just cuz he was fuckin u! I’m a peaceful woman n I have a huge heart. I give ppl the benefit of the doubt because I know im a good person but I know I’ve made many mistakes…so I would never want a person to judge me by my mistakes but judge me by my character. One thing I know for sure is…I have respect for the next woman n if I knew a dude was n a relationship or a marriage…I will not under no circumstance fuck with him! How do I know u ask…because I’ve had many men try me n I RESPECT the next woman to even give him the time or energy of anything but me waving BYE BYE PLAYA…go work shit out with ur woman or walk away from it before U try to even utter the words HELLO TO ME! 

I’ve shut so many men down so quick because I know how it feels being a woman who has been thru a husband who cheated on me with 2 of my “best friends” n now being with a hoe! Funny cuz I won’t even entertain the idea of me going on the sly with another man while im caught up because for 1….thats too much drama on top of the drama I have already…2nd I’m not getting someone else’s feelings involved because I want to have a fling out of passion or spite. It’s too much n I refuse to do it…so I stay faithful to myself n just deal with shit by prayer or by writing it out. See….iSee….i have faith in God n I gave him this n washed my hands of it. N when I feel I can’t no more n if God continues to give me signs that this just isn’t for me n that I need to close this door…trust n believe I will do what is according to his plan. Darnell n I have this bond…we have always said no matter what…we would always be there for each other…even if we decide to walk away from a relationship with each other. Outside of the shit we have been thru…we have never failed each other in being friends n coming thru for each other. 

We r unique n the love is real as far as a friendship n as lovers. I can’t explain it to where everyone gets it. Even his family see’s the unbreakable bond we have. N they say it all the time…”NO OTHER WHO COMES INTO UR LIVES WILL EVER COME CLOSE TO WHAT U HAVE”. 

I’m so close to his family n his kids. One of his daughters is 17…ive been n her life since she was 10. I’m best friends with her mom *lol I can imagine the jaws dropping* but yes…he has 6 kids by 4 different woman. I get along witj everyone of his babies mommas but 1 in particular I would do anything n this world for n she would do anything n has for me. Her name is Sonya n she is an amazing person…woman n mother. They have 2 children together (Courtney17 & DJ 12). DJ has a disability n he is the reason I fell head over hill n love with Darnell. When I see how much love Darnell has for all of his kids but the bond he has with DJ is amazing…it makes anyone see what a good heart Darnell has. Sonya n Darnell stayed cool with each other n co-parents with each other in an inspiring way. So when Sonya seen how much I truly loved her children n how close her kids were with me…nme…n I respect her as a mother because she loves her babies so much…we both couldn’t help but recognize n have respect for that. We actually call each other our BM. I have gone with her to countless Dr.s appointments for DJ just to give support n she’s asked me to be apart of DJ’s IEP’s at his school for support. We made it about the kids n that’s what brought us together n this amazing n unique friendship. I’m a different type of woman….i live by my heart n the genuine love I have for ppl. I’m not a hater…i’m not about drama…im about love n peace n just being a good person. I’m not close to his other babies mommas like I am with Sonya but I definitely have their love n respect as the step momma to their kids because I’m telling u…au…all of his kids n I have always been cool because I actually love them. 

So all this brings me to this…if u look at the pic I posted above….then maybe u can understand why I love this man despite his bad behavior…his heart is what I fell in love with! 

More to come….stay tuned