The Men in my Life Part 1

I drive about 30-40 minutes to and from work everyday.  This leaves me alot of time to think about things…my life in general most of the time.  Tonight on my way home from work I was thinking about the men in my life and why they are important to me.  I don’t know why but I have alot of male friends.   And so the idea was born to write about who they are and why they mean so much to me.

Michael– I was thinking alot about him today.  We’ve been dating off and on for almost 2 years now.  Our relationship isn’t very well defined at the moment.  I generally tell everyone that he is my boyfriend, but honestly I don’t really know if that is true.  Our relationship started out as purely a friends with benefits type thing.  That lasted about a year before we stopped seeing each other.  Then 3 months after that he called me again and we had a long talk.  Basically he said that he fucked up and he realized how much he really did care about me and he wanted to try it again, he wanted something more. I was leary at first because while yes I knew that our relationship was purely sexual I actually fell for him.  And I wasn’t sure if he was serious or if he just wanted to be fuck friends again.  I didn’t trust him.  But things have been different this time around.  We talk more, we go out more or I should say we do more than just have sex.  Yesterday I had a horrible day at work.  I had to stay a little bit late because we were way behind.  He called me at the store just before closing and said that he was on his way down to see me.  I was a little pissed off at first because I was in a bad mood, but I told him that it was okay I could use a friend.  So we went to Denny’s and had something to eat since I had just worked 10 hours without a break, let alone time to eat dinner.  One of the things I love about Michael is that we can have great conversations.  We are both intellectual and can talk about a wide variety of subjects, which to me is very important.  Although last night he basically listened to me vent about work, but it made me feel much better.  We left Denny’s and went back to my house which is about a 30-40 minute drive.  On the way there I kept texting him some naughty messages.  I am so bad hahaha!!!!!  When we got to my house well let’s just say I was very very sexually frustrated and I pretty much threw him on my bed and had my way with him.  But later we had a long talk.  He kinda misunderstood something I had said and he thought that I was asking him if he was cheating on me.  He said that he didn’t want anyone else and why was I asking.  I wasn’t.  But I told him it didn’t matter and he asked me if I was with anyone else.  I told him not sexually, but I did go out with Derek on Friday night to see Spiderman 3.  But it was completely non-sexual and we just went as friends, even though he is an ex-boyfriend.  Anyways to make a long story short, basically Michael got upset because I thought that our relationship was just as sex buddies.  He wants to be totally committed to each other.  I just don’t know whether or not I can believe him.  And I do have some feelings for him, but I am very cautious.  He has alot of the qualities that I want in a man.  He has a good job, he’s smart, funny, caring, a good listener.  He has a good head on his shoulders, very responsible.  He’s goal oriented and very driven.  The only thing I am not 100% sure of is his desire to someday have a family, which would be the only bad thing.  I will not be with someone who doesn’t want to have a family, because that is very important to me.  But like I said I’m not sure and we aren’t ready to bring that up just yet.  Really we get along great, can talk about anything, especially work as we are both in retail management.  He is the person I usually bitch to about work or I can go to him when I have a question or problem that is work related.  He’s really helped me out alot when it comes to work.  As I said our relationship isn’t really clearly defined at the moment, but he does mean alot to me and whatever happens between us I want to keep him as a friend for the rest of my life.

Mark is my bestest friend in the whole wide world.  Without him I would be lost.  he is the first person I want to call when something bad happens and the first person I want to call when something good happens.  If there is some big news in my life he is the one I want to know about it first.  I can talk to him about anything and everythingl.  He listens and often offers wise sagely advice.  Not that I always take it mind you, but most of the time he hits it dead on.  He knows exactly what to say and when to say it.  We’ve been friends for 8 years now and even though he lives in NJ and I live in MD now we talk to each other just about every day.  It literally drives me crazy to not talk to him everyday, but there are times when we go 2-3 days without talking because of work or other things.  I think he does it on purpose.  He’ll come home from work and get online and then I can’t get through when I try to call.  And I will call him about 20 times to see if he’s gotten offline yet.  I know I know obsessive, but I can’t help it sometimes.  I told him he needed to get a cell phone because when I need to talk to him he needs to be available lol.  Yeah he thinks I am a crazy bitch sometimes but I know he loves me.  What I love about him the most is his ability to make me laugh.  He is the one person who can always cheer me up.  There have been nights where we have talked on the phone for hours and he goes on and on telling me jokes and stories and I laugh so hard that I almost pee myself.  Those are the nights I love best…those and when we get into it about hockey.  And boy do we get into it when it comes to hockey.  He being a Ranger fan and me a Pens fan, well let’s just say that it gets interesting especially when our teams play each other.  Being in the same division those games really count.  For years the Rangers have been my third most hated team, but this year something was different.  After the Pens were knocked out of the playoffs, I found myself rooting for the Rangers.  Why?  Because Mark wanted them to win so badly and because I love Mark I thought that if I rooted for them too that maybe they would win.  HAHAHA!!!  They didn’t.  But it’s amazing how 8 years of friendship can make me root for a team that I had despised in the past.  Now I’m not going to jump on the Rangers bandwagon, but if them winning doesn’t affect my team in any way then I will root for them for Mark.  But if they are playing my Pens, well then they are going down!!!!!!!!!!   I would hate to see what would happen if the Pens and Rangers were playing each other in the Eastern Conference Finals.  God we probably would be spitting nails at each other.  Mark said that if the Pens and Rangers ever played in the Conference Finals and the Pens won then he would never speak to me again.  I told him that I gave him a week and he’d be talking to me a

gain.  He said he would change his number so I couldn’t call.  Haha but he forgot that I know where he lives.  He said he’s move.  Damn and I though we were friends.  But seriously…we are best friends and I wouldn’t want it any differently.   He will always be the number one man in my life.