Another Shane O’Mac entry

Shane was working Saturday night and he came into my work with Eddie. I really like seeing him, but at the same time I hate it. Shane, Eddie, and Mike were all looking at skin mags and talking about hot naked chicks. Shane and I had a lovely converation about the benefits of not being married. He said when you are single you can go out and have pure unadulterated sex. I said yup that’s why I am never getting married. I’m gonna be single forever. As Eddie always says,”If it feels good, do it.”

Anyways Eddie told me last night that after they left, Shane was all wound up. He said that I shouldn’t do that to him. I asked Eddie what he meant. He said he wasn’t sure, but after Shane and I had a private conversation, Shane was bouncing off the walls the rest of the night. Basically our conversation was about sex and that women in skin mags all have fake tits. I’m not sure if Eddie was telling the truth or not. Eddie has never lied to me, so I’m not 100% sure, but sometimes Eddie likes to stretch the truth so I feel better.

I shouldn’t even be feeling good about Shane anyways. I have been seeing John for awhile now and I really like him alot. He brought me flowers yesterday, which I was so not expecting. It was so sweet. I think I am starting to fal hard for him, but I’m not sure if that is such a good thing. I’m not sure how he feels about me. I think that he likes me too, but I get this feeling like he is blowing me off all the time. I guess I’m just still a little ticked off because he didn’t come over on Friday when I was off from work. I hate when he comes over on nights I have to work, because I feel so rushed. It’s like I don’t get to spend time with him, because I have to get ready for work and be there by 10, and we spend half of the afternoon taking a nap because we are both so tired from working.

Speaking of naps, we took one together this afternoon. I feel really guilty, because here I was sleeping next to John, whom I really do care about, and I was dreaming about Shane O’Mac. How wrong is that. No granted they were both nightmare’s, but in both dreams I had, I dreamt that I was with Shane and that he died. I woke up twice shaking and almost in tears.

Mike said the dreams had meaning. He said that Shane dying was a sign that I am supposed to just let him go, and quit flirting with him and trying to get with him.(good idea since 1. he is getting married and 2. I don’t want to screw things up with John). I think Mike might be on the right path there. It’s just going to be a long hard road to travel to get over Shane.