I won’t give up on my dreams

I went over Ryan’s last night cause I was pissed that TJ blew me off. I probably shouldn’t have because I don’t want Ryan thinking that he still has a chance with me because he doesn’t, but I’m glad that I went. We stayed up all night talking about stuff. I didn’t realize how much I missed talking to him. He always makes me feel better.

Anyways what really made me think was a song that he was singing. Not sure what the song was, but there was a line in the song that made me think, “I won’t give up on my dreams.” Oh how I realized that I have been giving up on my dreams, just because they seem impossible to me right now. They aren’t. Ryan said with a little hard work and determination I can accomplish whatever I set my heart to, and you know what he is so right.

So starting today I am going to put alot of time and effort to do whatever it takes to accomplish my dreams. First off I will be going back to school this fall. I don’t care if I go bankrupt trying to pay for it, I can not wait any longer. Second I will quit trying so hard to impress everyone and just be myself. For awhile now I haven’t felt myself and I finally figured out why. I am too worried about what others think of me that I haven’t been acting like myself. Who cares what others think of me. I don’t. And finally I will no matter what it takes go home and see my family. I keep putting it off, thinking that I have all the time in the world to visit them, but time is precious, and you never have enough. I love my family so very much and I regret every minute that I don’t spend with them. I told Ryan that I felt so guilty for leaving them and not being there for them. Ryan said that I was being stupid, that I moved back to Pittsburgh to go to school and better myself because of my family. Because my mother wants a better life for me than what she had for herself. That I was doing the right thing. Still I feel bad for leaving them and not visiting them enough. I hardly talk to them anymore. Well starting today thatis going to change. I will not settle for the easy way out anymore. I will accomplish my dreams. I won’t give up.