Actually wrote a new song

Yes as the title says, I actually wrote a new song. God has it been a long time since I did that. It felt so good. I’m listening to it right now and I am shaking. Maybe I’m going about this self expression thing all wrong. Maybe it’s not my writing that I need to express myself, maybe I need music.

The last time I actually wrote any music was 4 years ago when I was about 16, when I was still dating and in love with Ryan. He was my inspiration and my guidance. I gave up music when we broke up. I never thought I could write any ever again. But guess what I did. It feels so weird, kinda out of place in my life. But at the same time it just felt so good. I almost forgot what it felt like. There is a small stirring in my soul that I haven’t felt in a long time. It’s funny how something so trivial as a song could make me feel so many different emotions at one time. Happiness, sadness, anger, hate, love, and peace.

The song sounds sad, melancohly even. Didn’t want to start out that way, but it ended up that way. Guess sadness was in my soul when I was writing it. Now comes the hard part. Actually putting words to the music. Ryan always helped me with that before. He has such a way with words. His words express my every thought in a beautiful and elegant way. I do it with music, he does it with words. Together we were awesome songwriters. But there is no more of us being together. That’s the sad part.