I WOULD GIVE UP SEX FOR HOCKEY

My friend Gabe, just asked my if I would give up sex for the rest of my life, if it meant the Pens would win the Stanley Cup this year. My answer: Hell Yes!

I would seriously give up sex for the rest of my life if my Pens would be guaranteed a Stanley Cup Championship this year. Don’t get me wrong I love sex, but I love hockey more. If your a guy and your at a hockey game with me or even so much as watching it on tv with me, don’t even think about touching me in a sexual manner, cause I will probably jackslap your ass. The pleasure of actually being able to see and remember my Pens winning Lord Stanley, would be greater than any sexual pleasure. I just get so emotional during the playoffs. Last year when Colorado won, I cried as I watched Ray Bourque lift the Cup and kiss it. The poor guy spent 20 years trying to reach glory and he finally accomplished his dream. He worked so hard for it and he deserved it. It was like I was experiencing it along with him. I know that if my Pens would win it this year I would be overcome with tears of happiness. I have never felt that way about sex and I have had some that was pretty amazing.

So yes Gabe that’s my final answer. I would give up sex for the rest of my life if it guaranteed a Stanley Cup victory for my Pens!