My first love(themes, themes, and more themes)

The way to improve your writing is to write more. To accomplish this I have decided to pick a previous week’s theme and write about it. Not only will I have get more practice at writing, but I will have something to write about. My first topic of choice, What do you remember about the first person you thought(or knew) you were in love with?

Ryan was everything that I thought I ever wanted in a person. I thought that he was my soulmate. He was kind, caring, romantic, gentle, funny, and such a great person. But the one thing that made me love him was his passion for music.

Music was his life. He played with a fire that would light your soul. He loved every type of music and could play anything. His voice always left me shivering, as it pierced my heart and touched my soul.

We had been best friends for years. Anytime he was performing I was always there to see him play. I’ll never forget the night I realized I loved him. His band was playing in our school talent show. As he got up on stage, I could feel my body start to tingle all over. I didn’t even realized that there was anyone else on the stage excpet for him.

As they played the intro to the song “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, I got goosebumps all over. And as he sang the first word, I started trembling. I could not take my eyes off him. I sat there in the audience soaking in every single note. His voice was so rich and soothing. I could see the fire burning in his eyes, as he stummed his guitar and sang. It was like the song was expressing what was in his soul.

His band didn’t win, but to me he had one first place in my heart. Afterwards a bunch of us went out to Pizza Hut and hung out and had fun, but I could not stop thinking about how much I wanted to be with him.

I went back to his house with him and we were hanging out on his front porch just talking about stuff like best friends do. I told him that I loved listening to him play, that it stirred my soul. We went inside and he played for hours. Any song that I wanted to hear he would perform for me. When he took me home I went to my room, and layed crying on my bed, because I was in love with him, but he was my best friend. What if he didn’t feel the same way? If I told him how I felt, would it change our realtionship?

I agonized over my feelings for a few months when finally I could not take it any longer. I had to tell him how I felt to make myself feel better. I went over his house. His sister let me in and I went straight up to his room and in the boldest move I have ever made in my life I went over to him and kissed him. He had a look of shock on his face and asked me why I did that. I said because I felt like it. He was like really and started kissing me. I had never felt more alive than I did at that moment. We ended up sitting and talking and we stayed up all night. I was surprised to learn that he had all the same feelings for me that I had for him, but he was afraid to say anything to me, because he didn’t know if I felt the same way and he didn’t want to ruin our friendship.

The more time I spent with him the more I fell in love with him. He knew what I was thinking and always had the right thing to say. Sometimes he didn’t have to say anything at all, just being with him was enough. He knew that I had alot of family problems and he was always there for me.

My dad would go out of town alot and Ryan always made sure that I was never alone. He would come stay with me and make sure that nothing happened to me. We used to sit out on the roof at night. We’d lay there and he’d have his arms around me and we’d talk about everything. It was so wierd because he always knew what I was feeling and I didn’t have to say one word. I just felt so much better knowing that he was there.

He would write me notes and leave them for me to find. He’d put on music and dance with me in my bedroom. Our he’d play and sing songs for me. He’d call up the request line on the local radio station and dedicate my favorite songs to me. He did so many stupid little things, that meant alot. He’d call me to say that he loved me and that he was thinking about me and then hang up, so I’d call him back and tell him the same. He always called me before going to sleep to say that he loved me. When I asked him why he always did that he said in case for some reason he didn’t make it through the night I would know that I was the love of his life. There are so many things about him that made me fall in love with him.

He wanted a better life for me. His goal in life was to make the world a better place so that nothing could hurt me anymore. Writing this makes me wonder why I ever broke up with him. I don’t know why I did it. I guess I just got tired of him always being there. I needed some space. Now that I think about it that was a stupid reason cause I still love him.

We still talk and see each other every now and then. I try not to see him, because when I look into his eyes, I can still see passion and fire. I have tapes that he made for me of him singing and every now and again I will listen to them, but they make me cry so I try not to listen to them that often. I don’t know why I ever left him. But we have gone our separate ways. He has a new love in his life and I have loved others since him, but nowhere near as much as I loved him. I still love him and I always will and I know he feels the same. Sometimes love just ain’t enough.

See ya bye

Bubbles