Looking back
Today is the last day of 2008. It has been a very busy year for us full of my life changes. I think i have grown and changed more this year then any other. The beginning of the year i was trying to learn how to make it with a baby on the way, living in a new state where i only knew 3 people, trying to start a career and barely holding together my marriage.
Kayley was born May 9 and mine and matt’s life changed drasticly. It took a while but after much trial and error i believe me are starting to become good parents. I Have learned so much from my little one. She has tought me more in the past 8 months then i believe i have learned in my lifetime. I am a mother and upon her birth it opened up a way to get to meet the neighbors. They all came over to see the new baby and we had something in common then. It’s nice to be able to go out on the porch or run across the street and be able to just chat. I believe it has also helped to open me up. The last few layers of that wall i built around me is starting to crumble and i think i enjoy being social. I’m no longer that shy girl i was a year ago. I go out and i talk to total strangers and it just feels right not strange like it use to.
I love living here now. Yes we did have 2 hurricanes this year that destroyed our oven and some other things, put matt out of school and a job for a lil over a week and destroyed 2 months worth of groceries but we are woking to bounce back. I know a lot more people here now and because of Hurricane ike we got to know some friends better thoough we didn’t have time to really get to know them before. I am happy and am very content to be living here now even if we are so far from other family. We have almost finished the remodeling of the kitchen living room and dineing room and it looks great. This time last year it was pretty much 3 wrecked rooms and they dind’t even have a celing just insulation. It’s hard to imnagae that these are the same rooms.
I Love my job. After getting those 3 rooms completed it allowed me to have a room to make for my daycare room. I currently have the first 2 kids that i started with pretty much full time now and the little boy across the strett will be starting full time soon and i have another little girl who i have every other week. I just reached the point where i’m full and content with the amount of kids i have now. it’s what i have always wanted. It seems thnigs have just fallen into place. We have even been able to work out a nice schudule and work in preschool learning and crafts. The kids love it and love coming here. I’m to the point where i have to turn people away because of limited room. I never would have imanaged a year ago i would have been at this point in my career. I’m makeing a difference in these kids lives and i know it. I’m content with my job and career now and last year i would have never thought it would happen so quickly. I’m even working on getting a daycare licence. Not because i want more kids because i am content with the ones i have but i want this to be a place where the parents feel confedent to leave there kids and that licence will help.
As the year went by my marriage kept falling apart by the time kayley was born it was terrible we were at each other throats it was terrible. You would have thought we hated each other. I thought that once Kayley was born things would get better but it didn’t. If anything things got worse. it got so bad that at one point we just hit rock bottem. Things couldn’t get any worse but something happened and we talked and things ended working themselves out. I think we are both much happier. We strted over and it seems that this time everything is going right. Yes we still have our fights and problems but who doesn’t? We are comunicateing a lot better and that is one thing that made things so bad they were pretty much just all just misunderstandings but 4 years of misunderstandings adds up and almost ruined our marriage. Things are much better now then they were at this time last year.
It would be very hard to top this year but hopefully 2009 will be a great year and bring many more happy times for me and my family.
Happy new year everyone!!