Who i am!

The following was written for another blog i started a while back but just decided to write in. i decided that i would post it here aslo so you can see exactly who i am.

"I started this Blog a long time ago and just never really had the the time to write in here. I’m gonna give it a try now but i don’t know how often i will write in here. I guess i’ll start by first telling you a little about me. I’m 25 years old and I have a wonderful husband of 4 in a half years and a beautiful 6 month old baby girl. I had a tough time growing up. I grew up as white trailer park trash as most people would say. i had a lot of hardships because of it but i wouldn’t trade it for anything because all that i have had to overcome has made me the person i am today. Not having much money growing up has taught me the value of a dollar now so hopefully i can provide for my daughter and still teach her the worth of a dollar without her having to go through all the hardships i faced growing up. My father is one of those guys that the whole town likes but he is totally different at home. My father is a abuseful drunk. I grew up taking care of him and my mom and my younger sister all the time getting beat down by my abusive older sister. We lived in a trailer park most of my childhood where i learned to respect peoples privacy. When you heard noises or other things you just ignored them and when police surround the trailer and wake you sometime in the middle of the night because your trailer is mistaken for your neighbors who had a warrant out for his arrest you just ignored it.. When your in your front yard playing and a car pulls through your side yard and someone gets out and runs into the ditch and the car runs off you try to think it never happened. I must say i learned a lot living there though i honestly don’t think i would have all the values i have now if i wouldn’t have grown up there. In high school i was sexually harassed almost everyday and one time i was even sexually molested. But even good came from that. He would do it to a friend of mine every day and when she came forward he denied it and said she wanted it but then when i came forward he confessed cause he felt guilty i guess. I hated he got suspended for a while but the the harassing and molesting from him stopped for my friend so I’m glad that my having to go through that turned out to be the best for a friend. I was raped and mentally abused after high school but even that helped to mold and make me a better person i think. Each and every one of these scars has just made me a stronger and better person. I married my soul mate when i was 21 years old and we have had a lot of hardships to overcome but i know it has just made our marriage stronger. I have come close to giving up but I’m too stubborn for that. My husband and i tried to get pregnant for a year in a half until we were finally blessed with a pregnancy. 7 weeks into the pregnancy i lost the baby. Something wasn’t right and i miscarried. I went into a deep depression after that and My marriage suffered. A few times I almost just gave up on my marriage but what can i say i’m a very stubborn person and i don’t give up easily. September 2007 we decided that we would move out of the state we both had lived our whole lives a few days after we made the decision to move i found out that we had been blessed again with another pregnancy. We decided to go ahead with the move anyway it just seemed right. I know it was hard on both of our families because we were moving so far away with  a baby on the way but we had to do what was right for us and i know that that was the right decision. We moved and bought a house in October and May 9 2008 our beautiful little baby girl was born. The move and pregnancy took a toll on our marriage and things got really rocky again there was a point after our little girl was born that we hit rock bottom. Things got terrible but I think we had to hit rock bottom to begin healing. Things started to go up hill from there. We started to talk more and work things out. We still have our problems. Who doesn’t? But we are working on it and things keep getting better and better. I’m 25 years old and have a wonderful husband. The 2 of us have a beautiful little girl and we own 2 cars and a decent size house free and clear. We also have a little bit of saving put up for our little girl so besides my past i think i have done pretty good for myself. For this reason I know my past has just made me a stronger better person and i wouldn’t change a thing if I were able to go back and change the scars in my past. The scars have Built up on me and have formed this hard shell on me i think that causes me to be even stronger then ever. I believe i can take anything now. Though my life are full of scars this light has also built up inside of me and shines though so even though my past has many scares in it I am strong and the light makes me beautiful. You know what i think i am even quite happy with who i am and even where i came from. Well this is me this is who i am take it or leave it. I am strong and beautiful no matter what anyone says and i know it. Welcome to my blog."

If your still reading then I want to thank you for reading that long ass thing and for any of you that care to leave ugly notes or anything about anything i have gone though then go ahead. Because of the things i have gone through you can’t hurt me.