Exit Counseling and reintroduction…
As I surfed the web for secular intentional communities, and there are 100s of them, http://www.ic.org/
I found Meadow haven http://www.meadowhaven.org/ and Wellsprings. http://wellspringretreat.org/. Wellsprings is more of a triage for those just leaving a cult. Its 3 weeks long and deals with educating victims about all the different cults and to make them aware of the mental brainwashing that went on and that it can cause you to give up on the world once again and return to what you had grown familiar with. It happens all the time unfortunately.
I had been out for some time and felt I was past the triage stage. I actually was debating if I needed help at all. I thought to myself, I could stay at my folks, get a job and possibly go live at one of the many housing coops in Madison. But then I fore casted that I could once again get sick of the 9to5 and want to return to the communal family living environment I had come to love. So I continued to look for the place that was like this but without the "our way or the highway" attitude. Not finding anything, I called Bob Pardon at Meadow Haven and spoke to him. I was scared by the $1700 a month price tag for the program but he said "no one is turned down for lack of funds" and that there are other resources to draw from. He also said that I really should come for awhile and make sure I didn’t need help and to just get a feel of the place. So, off to Massachusetts I went.
I learned a lot in the 3 months I was there. About the PTSD that all ex-cult members suffer through and I learned a lot about myself through the Meyers Briggs personality test. http://www.myersbriggs.org/ I am a ESTJ which explains a lot about who I am and why I am the way I am. There’s no good or bad. You cant fail this test. You just ARE!
I had difficulties getting around, being I have lost my drivers license for life(long story, and no accidents involved) Even though there was a vehicle at my disposal, I couldn’t use it ! There was no public transportation which cut down on my social life too. I did manage to get a good job driving fork lift for Ocean Spray Cranberries just down the street.
I was getting bored and felt it was time to move on. When I got back to WI. I found a community that interested me and I was going to go visit for a month and see if I liked it. http://www.fellowshipcommunity.org/ . I spent a month at the Fellowship Community and they worked you hard. You got 2 half days off and not back to back. You had all your meals with the patients and most where requiring feeding. I couldn’t handle the 100% care patients all being incontinent and so on. Also they followed Rudolf Steiners teachings as a religion and it is really wack! Super Mystical. And funny thing was, it was the counter to the TT. I thought I was in Satan’s Camp! All this TT shit came back to me and I was overwhelmed with the thought of returning to the TT!!! I even made an apology to them on FactNet http://www.factnet.org/factnetcgi/discus/discus.cgi (my handle is ex_yathed) and asked for forgiveness. I contacted one of the elders and asked if I could come back. He said they would have to seek "council" and they would get back to me. What this actually interprets to is they’ll have to see what Yoneq, the Apostle with the direct line to God" says. He called me back and Yoneq said to him to tell me" Go to Bob Pardon and see if he will have you, because we don’t want you!" So this was the example of the love and forgiveness of their God and His son. These are the chosen ones, the Holy ones. The hope of the world! Makes me want to vomit. Actually, Bob did read my apology on fact net and was worried for me and he emailed me to offer me any help I needed. This is from the man the TT calls the Anti-Christ, or one of them.
So, you see, the mind control of fear and guilt embedded by these groups http://www.factnet.org/ can come back and haunt you and if your at a low point in your life, you could end up right back in it. I am thankful and truly believe that a higher power of some sort got me out and actually closed the door behind me. Well, I also believe that my caustic attacks on the TT through fact net was also a way of me, myself, burning the bridge back just in case I relapsed into their way of thinking again. And damn if it didn’t work!
So, its back to the ranch to regroup. I found a intentional community I was interested in but seemed it might be to rural and have a bend towards vegetarianism and feminism. http://www.twinoaks.org/ They had a 3 month waiting period just to go visit and I didnt feel like waiting that long. But the good part of it, I found a link on there site to the egalitarian communities http://thefec.org/ which led me to Ganas http://www.well.com/user/ganas/home/.
Ive been at Ganas on Staten Island for 8 months now and believe Ive found the place Ive been looking for. I am one of the few maintenance people here and I maintain the plumbing, electric, computer hook ups, carpentry and overall upkeep of our 10, 100 year old Victorian Style houses and our 3, 2nd hand stores and our soon to be Everything Goes "used records and books/open stage/cafe". I am seeking to become a member of the "Core Group" and be a long term resident here.
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