After shock (a collection of emails)

From: Terra
Sent: Monday, February 11, 2008 10:16 PM
To: Ian Minter
Subject: Sean’s Birthday Pics

I finally got my pictures on the computer and I thought there might be some that you or Sean would want.  Before I decide to delete them.  Here, you can put them on your match profile, Fucker   ()
  
By the bye, when are you going to give me my diamonds back so I can go get something else?  Just curious… I’ve decided you can’t keep them.  I’m very deserving of jewelry.
 
Talk to you later. (let me know if the attachments don’t work)

 

Tera

(I had bought her some diamonds for Christmas, the day I went to break up with her, one of the diamonds fell out of the necklace.  apparently I only give prophetic jewelry.)

From: ianminter@hotmail.com
To: tera
Subject: Re: Sean’s Birthday Pics
Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:49:16 -0500

So I tried to get your diamonds fixed, and since I didn’t buy the warranty, they wouldn’t do that.
 
 
When we left it, you had said that, even if I got them fixed, you would never wear them and that I shouldn’t bring them back…..which is why I was surprised when you asked for them when you called. 
I feel bad because I panicked on the phone with you and lied.  I don’t have them any more.
 
I went back to the jewelry store after that evil woman that worked there left and asked someone who didn’t know they were missing a diamond if I could return them.  they said that I couldn’t, but allowed me to exchange them.  After a long debate, I got my self a nice tungsten ring.  It actually looks quite fantastic.  I think about you every time I wear it….
 
so now that you’re super pissed, here’s the good news, I’ll be more than happy to get you something fantastic.  Just give me a little while to figure it out and I’ll make sure you are not unhappy with what I bring. 
 
Unfortunately, your diamonds are gone.
 
Thanks for the pics.  Where are the rest of them…the ones where you are in them…..?
 
You are one of four people who come up in my search results…
 
These are the people messaging me:
 
   blueyezdance
 
Corinne714
 
So I think I need to move.
 
 
 
 
stop being pissed about the diamonds…..I’ll make it up to you…..I promise.
 
 
How many puppies do you want?
 
6?
 
that’s a lot
but ok…

Ian

(Terra waited a week and wrote me an email, that I commented on and sent back, my comments are in blue)

From: ianminter@hotmail.com
To: tera
Subject: Re: Sean’s Birthday Pics & Diamonds, Diamonds, Diamonds
Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:53:51 -0500

There is so much I want to say and I want to say it all… but I’ll probably forget 10 of the billions of things running through my head as I’m writing this.  And I’m sure I’ll have the urge to write you again so I can get those out too, but I’m going to resist that urge and do my best here.  If any of my friends knew that I was writing this to you, they would hand me a gun and tell me to shoot myself in the head.  They’re smarter than I am apparently.

I think your email here was great!  I feel the need to comment on it as we go.  Cool?

You’re friends are fantastic and they only have your best interest at heart.  I think you needed to write this and it had to be cathartic for you to do so.    
 
I read your e-mail about the diamonds… and you were right, I wasn’t happy.  Yeah, I saw that going different in my head.
I wrote you back a short and sweet, and just horribly wicked reply.  As you should.
So I thought about it.. and decided that my initial response might not be the best way to handle things.
I forwarded my reply and your e-mail to some friends to get advice (most of them couldn’t even open it, I had dropped so many F-bombs, that their work

e-mails Firewalled it… yeah).
Anyway, I got the sense from your e-mail that you did feel a little bit bad about the diamonds.  I do.
I didn’t know what to say.
I knew that saying nothing would probably make you feel worse than any nasty reply I would have sent. 
So that’s what I did. 
But I am having a really hard time being that person.
So I am replying now, and I’m going to be really honest.

Good.  That’s what I figured.
 
After the last time we talked (and even just before, when I saw that you were already looking for someone new), I had decided that I shouldn’t be sad about you anymore and there were just a few things I needed to do to let go.  Mind you, this is less than a week after we broke up.
#1 – Give your shirts and book back – but after we talked I’m keeping them.  It’s too late to change your mind.  I think I’m going to put them in a time capsule somewhere here this spring while my yard is getting a makeover.  Honestly, the thought of someone else wearing them totally creeps me out. You are going to make dust rags out of them.

#2 – Upload the pictures and send them to you. Thankyou!

#3 – Return the diamonds and get myself something fantastic. That didn’t remind me of how little thought and effort you put into picking out a gift for me.  That I would wear all the time.  That would remind me that I was better off.  And at least I’d have something to show for it.

I’LLL MAKE IT UP I PROMISE!!
 
"When we left it", yes, I did give you the diamonds back.  But for fuck’s sake… you were here, they were here – You just told me I was a person you would never fall in love with.  You broke my heart.  At the moment, it seemed like the right thing to do.

But we also discussed you getting them fixed, that was the last thing that was said about the diamonds. 
And maybe if that had happened, maybe I wouldn’t have returned them, maybe I would’ve just held onto them and pulled them out from time to time when I thought of you – I Don’t Know.  But the option is gone.

 

You, exchanging my gift for something for yourself, really put things into perspective for me.  And I don’t know how I didn’t see it from the start.
But I did.  You were smarter than me.  I didn’t see it.
 
I am finding some solace though, in knowing that all around you, are things that will remind you of me. 
It’s a little evil, but comforting at the same time.
So at least I have that.

Yeah, that’s really frustrating.  Not that I mind being reminded of you, but it’s a reminder that I found someone as fantastic as you, who treated me so well, and I couldn’t fall in love.  It’s scarrrrry actually.

I kind of freak out about it once a week.  I wonder what it will be like when my folks are dead and I’ve got no family.  It’s the one thing I worry about more than retirement and zombies.
 
 
 
Just a couple more things…

 

I love the exit survey.  I wish all my ex’s would write this shit down and send it to me.  There have been many times where I wanted to create a form for them to fill out.

 
First, some pointers or things to make note of:
 – when we would go to dinner or were out and were ready to leave, you were always 10 steps ahead of me.  you were practically at the door before my coat was on.  you never waited.

Move your ass.  Tell your girlfriends to tell their girlfriends and so on.  Move it.  Stop fucking around and dilly dallying.  There is shit to do.  Stay gathered and ready.  We may need to move at a moments notice. 

And you are right.  I should be more considerate.

 – your first e-mail to me, you gave me all of your contact info, even your home address.  girls are crafty and curious.  we do our research.  even your facebook or myspace might make someone you’ve just started talking to a little crazy, especially if they get to your journal.  Though I loved reading your writings and was often entertained, sometimes I wish I hadn’t known so much about you before I got the chance to know you.

<span style="font-size: 10pt; color: rgb(79, 129, 189); line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Tahoma','

sans-serif’;”>No matter what I do, girls are crazy.  I’ve been told by others that I am a complete mystery, and come on.  It was a huge help to have that journal.  No one made you read it.  You could have stopped any time.  I can’t be held responsible for your crazy. 
– if you got the book I sent, read the preface and the short section on girls.  you could use some of this advice.

Yeah, what’s up with the book?

 
Finally………
It’s anonymous.
Sound it out.  A-NON-Y-MOUS.  Your mom would be very disappointed.  And shame on AA for not making attendees learn how to actually spell that shit before they give you a coin!
So yeah, I read it.  Go figure. 
It’s funny that, for the last three months I had hoped that you would write and say fantastic things about me.  You never did.
And now that you are writing anything at all about me, you’re shutting me out. 
Shenanigans. 
So be it.

I’m flattered.  This will be on there soon.  J 

So now my turn……..

When first having sex with a guy, don’t start out by saying “fuck it” no matter how drunk you are.

Get a working door bell and put a bell in the basement.  You know why I was always in a hurry after dinner? cause I stood on your porch for an hour before hand. 

Work on your memory.  It’s not normal to forget the plot of a movie half way though, or to forget a whole story.  Buy ginko.

Stop buying drugs for your parents. 

Don’t take your recovering alcoholic boyfriend to play drinking games, even if he tells you it’s fine.

Stop playing drinking games.  You’re almost 31 for fuck sake. 

I don’t hate you. Even after that last list? In fact, I’m sure I’ll care for you always.  And I’m glad I didn’t miss the opportunity to have known you. 
But if we’re both honest, we’re not really going to be friends.  It just doesn’t work. 
But if your car breaks down or you need help with something, please, don’t hesitate to call me last =).

And after you stayed the night at my house that last night??

So I guess this means you won’t be painting my house?

 

 

I have wanted to call and ask you to hang out every day, but I feel like I would be leading you on, and I think you still want to break my nose.  Just yesterday I wanted to go see Jumper at the movies, and I didn’t go because I had no one to go with.  I miss having a friend like you.  It was nice to have someone to do stuff with.
 
If you still want to get me something to make up for being a total douche bag…   total is kind of a strong word  you can buy me a new/used gaming station (have your dad check it out on ebay), AND Guitar Hero.  You might gain some ground back with my friends this way, so they don’t kick you in the face the next time they see you.  But that’s just a suggestion.  

Shady would eat puppies for breakfast.

 

Shady would love puppies.

I smile a big toooothy grin every time I think of rampant puppies playing with shady.

 

<p class="EC_EC_EC_MsoNormal” style=”color: rgb(0, 0, 255);”>So it’s settled? 

 

Puppies it is.

It’s super late. 
 
 
That’s all I got.

From: Tera
Sent: Monday, February 18, 2008 3:34 PM
To: M. Ian Minter
Subject: Thank You.

I’ll write more before I leave.   

 

I have a bunch of stuff to do that I’ve left until the last minute

 

… like burn your house down.

From: ianminter@hotmail.com
To: tera
Subject: Re: Thank You.
Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:35:49 -0500

If you’re going to burn the house down, at least do it quietly so you don’t wake Sean.

(sean is my roommate)