Common sense. Simple common sense.

Now comes that phase of a break up. For me the most akward because I’m not a very open person like this. but like most, I need it on occasion. The physical aspect.

It’s not as if I need to get laid rigt here right now. though it’d be nice, I’m thinking moreso just the hugging, kissin and cuddling. The physical contact. Whatever the intent may be (except violence. I think i can live without her attacking me.)

I could probably goto the bar, or a club and try to pick up girls, though I don’t do that. I can’t. I have this inability to meet new people, and especially if it’s with that intent. I’m very shy to new people, typically. If I’m with someone I’ve known for a long time, I can act a bit more like myself because I can act that way to my friends, and let the new people just observe. works for me, so it must work for other people, right!?!?! No… but that’s the best i can do.

See, before I had solved the problem with “Friends with benefits” style relationships. However, I don’t realy know anyone anymore, and the people I do know, I wouldn’t dream of doing that, because it will pretty much destroy the friendship once either person gets tired of it, or gets a significant other. I had something like that goin on with Janelle a long time ago, and pretty sure thats how things deteriorated into whenever she speaks it tries at my patience.

But the whole aspect of cassie and I play a role too. We are broken up right now. So I shouldn’t worry about it all, but I do. I’m having a real hard time letting go, because I’m afraid to let go in case she wants to get back together. *raises hands in submission* I know, I know… stupid. Gotta move on. And usually finding other things to do, or new people (not necessarily to do) helps. but the whole shyness realy kills me there.

I just miss it all. The warmth of a kiss, a backrub, a hug. Many of the girls I have dated have been good at all of the above, and so I miss them all, in that sense. Uhg. I can’t just goto a party get drunk and make out either, because I don’t know anyone that throws parties where lots of people will be, and second, I’m very uncomfortable getting drunk around people i don’t know, especially women for that exact reason.

Any remedies to my problems that you all can think of? And don’t say “Just go into the shower and–” thats not what I mean. The only people I could do the whole friend with benefits thing, I haven’t talked to in ages, and the only friends I have left here… well, it’s not something I would want to do, nor would I even ask. That’d just be akward. “So. You’re single, I’m single. We’re friends, we’ll just become good friends tonight and–*slap*–okay!” Fucking hell, mates. I’m at a loss.

As always,
James
AIM/MSN: Ziktick(@hotmail.com for MSN users) feel free to contact me. – jhoffoss@gmail.com
QUOTE OF THE MOMENT: I want a girl who will laugh for noone else. When I’m away she puts her make-up on the shelf. When i’m away she never leaves the house. I want a girl who laughs for noone else. – “No One Else, Weezer”