one of those nights

Well, I kind of talked with cassie tonight. As I couldn’t sleep, i had decided to say hi after a few days to see what was going on. Basically i tried to figure out exactly why she left.

I don’t think she understands the way that I talk to people. when someone comes to me with a problem or question, I give them my opinion, and my past expierences. I say it in a way to make the people understand how i felt in my position. but to someone new, it may seem I’m trying to tell them what to do. this is not the case. For example.

If someone says they are trying to move out on their one, I tell them they will need certaqin things, and it when I moved out, this is what happened. But I say it more like a story bout me, in first person. so I use “you” a lot. and I realize that it’s the main problem. I should say “I” which I do as well, but apparently not often enough.

I had talked to cassie about various things this night, and she brought this to my attention, and made it seem like this i why she had to break up. not that i was a bad person, but she wanted to find thigns out on her own. she needs to do it, to learn it. I’m the same way, so I know exactly what she means.

She was thinking aloud wondering if she did the right thing, and she didn’t know, so I tried to help her. But the way i said it, it was as I always do. if I was in the situation, given what i know, this is what i would have done differently. but it depends heavily on what her primary goal was, and other factors. But i think she originally thought i was teling her she as wrong. I explained what i said meant something else and she understood and apologized another time or two.

What do I think? Well. She wants to be independent, try things out without people telling her no. Well, she’s going to get that no matter what. do I think she needed to break up to do that? no. But she’s never been in this situation. and she’s not accustomed to just talking about her situations. so when I openly try to give advice, she takes it as i’m trying to tell her what to do.

but this is human nature folks. you don’t want to see the ones you love in pain. so you’ll try to ease it no matter what. And if she doesn’t want any pain relief, is the only solution to break up? or do I think i could honestly detatch myself from her well being in those times.

I don’t know. I honestly don’t. I could be silent about my concerns, but I don’t feel right doing it, just as I don’t feel right ding it now. So, I guess no. I don’t feel we should have broken up over it, though I can understand her motives.

As always,
James
AIM/MSN: Ziktick(@hotmail.com for MSN users) feel free to contact me. – jhoffoss@gmail.com
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