Boy’s don’t cry!

I remember once when a friend told me something. But before I tell you what she said, I’m going to elaborate a little bit.

See, I’m not the emotional type. I have pent up emotions, and fits here and there. But I’m pretty much a happy upbeat person. I smile often, laugh even more often, and just try to have fun. I’m not a drunk, or a addict to anything. I do drink socially, but thats rare that I actully drink enough to feel it. Otherwise maybe a drink with dinner when I’m out. But that’s just like getting lemonade or something. It’s just different from soda, and a one time thing. If I’m thirsty afterwards, I get water.

But I’m just not emotional when it comes to negative things.  I can become a brick wall with emotions when need be. It’s a self defense. I can tell the girl I was with for a year and a half it’s over, looking her straight in the eye, and not even flinch.  I can hear that my cat has just died, or my grandmother has cancer without a quiver.

I can close off anything. And because of this, I just don’t cry. Which leads me to the quote.

“You’re so lucky and strong. You never cry!”

Now lets think about it.  Yes, I never cry. Lucky and strong though? I’m not so sure.

Crying is healthy. No matter who says otherwise. It can be a refreshing way to relieve stress, or just let out emotions. Some people, like me, never cry. The emotions that should be let out just simply do not exist. They come in, and disappear. Other people, these emotions are incredibly sensitive. Something minor that shouldn’t be a big deal happens, and they feel they’re about to explode.

Honestly, I don’t believe either one of these scenarios is healthy. Unfortunatly, it’s not something that can be altered. Not easily, if ever.

It’s just the way we are, and we have to deal with it sometimes.  Some poeople that are oversensitive and melodramatic will break down for many reasons, and will annoy others many times.  People like me just upset people because it seems like we don’t care. which in turn, makes them angry, and tot hose overemotional, they start crying.

Of course it bothers us. In a way. Everyone has ways of showing emotions, and venting. When big sad events happen,s ome people cry. Some people get angry. Some people do nothing, some people joke about it to relieve their feelings. None is meant as offense. But Everything offends everyone.

Then they start to cry, or turn to stone.

Am I all the stronger for that? Sometimes. I can do what I need to. But I’m misunderstood.

Many people tell me I’m a puzzle to read by looking at. When I’m angry, tired, annoyed, bored, and so on, I look the same. So inquisitive people will constantly ask me if I’m ok. Most of the time I’ll laugh and say yeah and give them an inridiculous look. Other times, I’ll shrug and say “Meh. I’ll live.”

Am I lucky for this? I don’t know.

I seem to survive well enough. That’s gotta count for something.

I don’t resort to drugs to rely on. I can handle myself alright. But I’m alone. And often.

I’m very shy and clam up easily as my defenses kick in. I don’t meet people often, and people don’t really get to know “me” because I don’t really be myself. I be “that james kid.”

The one in the back that doesn’t say much.

The oversensitive ones, likewise don’t befriend many people because they get shooed away. Nobody likes a crybaby. And nobody likes a non-sensitive asshole.

Which classifies many of us.

Lucky and stronger? I dunno.

However you look at it, I’m still human. Still a man. And still have certain needs. One is acceptance. One is comfort. One is love. One is contentment.

2 down, 2 to go.

As always,
           James

AIM/MSN: Ziktick(@hotmail.com for MSN users) feel free to contact me.
QUOTE OF THE MOMENT: “Very benevolently, I thought, especially today; for he came to my rescue repeatedly; and yes, i have just come from him. But let me tell you a strange thing: I paid no attention to him, and several times I completley forgot he was even there.” Spoken by Socrates, in Plato’s “Protagoras”