Not everybody likes onions.

But ya know what everyone does like? Parfaits.  Ya know? Some donkey said that once. In reguards to OGres having layers, just like onions. Unfortunatly, ogre’s are mythic beings. But hiding behind layers, is not.

Why would people do this to themselves? Well, many people do it to protect themselves. They’ve been hurt one too many times and shut themselves out frome veryone else.  Some People subconsiously do it due to no trust. Some people have no confidence in whot hey REALLY are so they hide it and portray someone else.  Now, some people intentionally do this. And some people do not.  Some people started at a young age, too young to remember anything except major traumatizing events, and some people start around high school.

I suppose this goes hand in hand with lying, of a form.

I guess.

But it’s sometimes uncontrollable. Most times Unwanted. Resented. Loathed. Hated. Despised. This list goes on.  Some people, it ruins their lives.  But to some people, it’s the Safe Haven. Their redemption. Salvation. They can’t live without it. They must hide who they are. For who’s benefit doesn’t matter. I know people of all kinds.

I know the ones who hide who they are by fear.  I know the ones that hide who they are uncontrollably. I know people who hide who they are for any and every reason. I personally don’t hide who I am to anyone.  You see me here, you meet me in person I’m the same. Games like EverQuest that I play, I’m the same there too.  (Though in person I admit im a bit more shy. hehe)

Is there an answer, I don’t know.  I can only assume.  I personally, not really going through that cannot speak from expierence. But one thing I have figured out myself is that almost anything can be changed given enought ime and determination. No matter what.  Habits, trends, lifestyle, respect, honesty.  You have to take risks at times, but if you’re smart and catious about it, it can resolve itself. And just remember, anyone under 25 is still growing up.  So don’t think you’ll be like this the rest of your life. Because you won’t.  2 years ago I was as depressed as it gets. Suicidal, and all.  But it changed. I still get my fits of depression, no doubt, but still. I’m obviously different.

So just don’t give up hope.  It’s never the end, until you decide. But if you end it early, if you give up all hope, and stick up your onion peels, there’s not a thing anyone can do to help you. Which is the worst place to be.

I don’t guess this, I know.

– James
AIM/MSN: Ziktick(@hotmail.com for MSN users) feel free to contact me.
I had liquid Pizza today. It was fantastic.