What the Hell?

Okay.. so what I’m about to write, very few people will understand. I don’t understand it yet. I haven’t let today fully sink in yet. I’m afraid to let it sink in. Anyways.

Great news first. Chip and I went to the dealership today. Quick update.. I was supposed to cosign on Chip’s car purchase last week. His credit sucked so bad and mine rocked so much that the car was put completely in my name and I received two more offers for loans for my own car. So I became the registered owner of a 2000 Honda Civic.

Then we returned today to get me a car, because Duct Tape Mobile was near death. I got set up with a 2001 Mitsubishi Diamante. Very sweet car. I’m in love with it.

I’ll get into that story more in detail later. Now here comes the crazy part.

So while we’re adding me to the new car insurance we got together last week, Chip discovers we’ll save $1200 every six months if we’re married. That’s the beginning of it. A half hour later he had me convinced that we’re going to get a convienience marriage.

So we went to the Town Hall and filed the paperwork.

By the way, in the state of Connecticut, you don’t need bloodwork to get married anymore. That’s a plus.

whent he woman gave us a list of the justices of the peace around town, Chip saw a name he knew. He gave the guy a call and an appointment was set for a wedding at 7pm.

So, we headed to the mall to look at wedding bands. Because it just wouldn’t be as fun without wedding bands. We chose lovely little plain white gold wedding bands. I like mine a lot, and can pass it off as a silver ring when worn on the other hand.

Then we called Faith and invited her. And she got Amanda to agree to come too! Then we decided to invite Chip’s sister as well. But his sister didn’t know the reason. We told her that we were taking her to dinner.

So we pick everyone up, and once we’re in the car we tell Chip’s sister (Elizabeth) the truth. It was crazy. We were all dying laughing.

So we get to the house, and I’m wearing a cute little flower wreath I made for Pennsic, and wearing borrowed boots, blue in the flowers, and a new white shirt. Faith walks me down the “aisle” (the guy’s living room) and the “ceremony” began. Faith, Amanda, and Elizabeth were witnesses, and Elizabeth was also ringbearer.

We tried not to laugh the whole time. It was so crazy. This guy thought we were actually marrying for LOVE.

Ugh.. we had forgotten about the kiss. It’s not cool. We gave each other a quick kiss, Faith got a picture. We’ll destroy it later. Or keep it for kicks.

Then we went to IHOP. I got an ice cream sundae, and our waitress (who happens to be friends with James) brought us a “wedding pancake”. It was chocolate with syrup and whip cream, sprinkles, chocolate chips, and a cherry on top. Faith got pictures of us feeding each other. Chip paid for dinner.

Then everyone went home.

Wanna know the real kicker of the whole situation?

Chip.. or should I call him by his real name, James.

He’s gay. Openly gay.

And we WILL be having other partners until we decide we wanna be serious with a REAL significant other.

Then we’re getting an annullment.

Why?

Because my husband is homosexual, Your Honor.

Crazy? You bet