JUST WHAT I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN.

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i told him everything this morning and just what i thought would happen did, he denied it. everything. low-and-behold though holli also has that password becuz she’s the one that created the email account for him. i asked him for the password…i got a no. i asked about 20 times and he kept saying no. i said that it was bull shit that she can have it and they dont even date. i told him if he doesn’t give it to me i’m definitely going to get suspisious about what he’s doing with that account. it’s probably nothing but holli’s emails….past and present. point blank i asked if he was cheating on me and if so i just want to know…he quickly said NO! i told him i didn’t care if it was in real life or a cyber relationship, i just want to be told!! i don’t want to be the girl whose boyfriend is cheating on her and everyone else knows except her. that’s not me!!

i told him everything about the profile and when it was last updated and then i told him about me going back to it not even 10 minutes later and it had been changed and it said last updated today. somebody’s fucking with him and he said the only person who has the password is her. i don’t understand why he won’t give it to me. i won’t delete anything. i just want to see who he emails with that one. now if there are recent emails for/to her i’ll get pissed off, but i just don’t want to be lied to. he says he has cut off all…ALL…contact with her. BULL SHIT. early last night when i was at his house doing work on his computer i found a picture of her and her mom. like recent picture cuz she was at college and just just graduated back in may (same time i did). i deleted it. i’m a bitch, i know.

i told him until i get that password i’d have my guards up becuz if i don’t i’ll eventually end up hurt bad enough where i can’t handle it and i just snap. he told me i should just learn how to trust him. HA!! please….first i find half naked pictures of a chick then i find a picture of holli in a drawer in his room…he told me he hasnt really seen or talked to her since 2003. i asked about the picture and he said she had dropped by and gave it to his mom and she gave it to him. i dont understane cuz his mom said she didn’t really like holli and blah blah blah.

he told me i should learn to trust him. why? i have no reason to trust him! maybe if he started being a better boyfriend and telling the truth and maybe if he quit sounding suspisious about everything i ask him i would trust him a little. he said he cant even change the password even if he wanted to becuz since holli was the one that created the account she put his secret question as what is your fave pets name. he says he doesn’t know what she put. i quickly told him if he wanted to call her while i was with him i wouldnt mind as long as she was on speaker phone. nope, he didn’t wanna do that either and when i asked why he replied with "cuz i really don’t wanna talk to her". okay. ask what she put and then say bye!

i’m hurting so bad, but i cant let him see it. i did start to cry while i was on the phone with him, but i tried my best to hold it back. i cant let him think my guards are down….i have to be strong for once so i dont get hurt even more!!