Took her To Her Death *serious*

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I had to take my dog Princess to the Humane Society today becuz I couldn’t keep her. I just never paid her any attention becuz her pen was on the other end of my yard and I never walk down there. The pen is pretty big…we use to have goats in it. I fed her every other day, but I’d feed her alot. I just felt bad and I felt like she deserved more. Princess deserved an owner who pays her attention and let her run around and be loved. She desevered to have a fenced in yard instead of a pen…Point Blank : She deserved more than what I was giving her.

So I thought I was doing the right thing taking her to the Humane Society thinking she’s a very loveable medium sized puppy, someone will most definitely adopt her. So I loaded her up in my car. She seemed to enjoy the car ride, I didn’t know she liked riding around. I got a little bowl of food for her and I alternated between letting her window down for her ears and tounge to flap and turning the air on high for her.

She was laying across the little console in the middle of the front seats. Her head was on my lap and I was rubbing her and telling her how sorry I was. I told her that I loved her and how I hope she gets someone better than me next time.

When we got there, I put her leash on her and picked her out of my car. She started walking a little bit which she has NEVER done before on a leash!! So I opened the door and kinda had to nudge her inside. I started crying!! I know I didn’t take good care of her towards the end, but when i first got her she fucking slept with me!! Then things happened and she had to move outside. It hurt my heart so bad when I handed the man the leash and she was sitting right there by my feet just looking up at me wondering what we’re going to do next. I knelt down, and I kissed her nose…her head…her ear!! I just kinda held her and once again whispered in her hear everything I told her on the way there. I then let go and he took her back in a room. She was so scared!! I walked out to my car and brought in a big bag of her favorite food and I saw her being put on an examining table.

I mouthed I Love You and I’m Sorry and walked out to my car and drove off. I was crying so much on the way home it was pathetic. When I got home I called them real fast and told them that if she gets adopted out, I would like to me called and notified just so I know she’s going to be happy. Well, the guy told me that they did a heartworm test and she came back  +  for it. He also told me that the treatment for heartworm medicine went up $50 so I think he said in all it’s like $175 for them to get it and treat the animal….and he practically told me Princess wasn’t worth spending that money on becuz they don’t think anyone would adopt her. BULL SHIT!! She is great with people, she’s not one bit aggressive, she is a big baby and is so loveable!! The man told me there is a 95% chance Princess would be euthanized, which means put to sleep!!

It hurt me so bad to know that I practically took her to her death!! I mean, I thought everything would work out and she’s be happier and and make new doggie friends and all that kinda stuff, but NO! Becuz I was such a bad person, she has to die!! An Innocent dog has to be brought to her death becuz of the owner stupidity and selfishiness!!! I don’t understand!! My mother is telling me to go back up there and get her…which means I’d have to buy her back for $75, but even if I did…she’d be brought back here where she gets fed every other day, doesn’t have enough room to play and have fun, doesn’t get to interact with other animals other than squirrels….plus she has heartworms which will eventually kill her, right? Is what I did okay? Did I make a good decision?…HELP ME PLEASE!!