Guys Are So Heartless!!

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…or at least mine is!! Last night he came over and picked me up to go to out. Nowhere special, just meeting his friends at the lot. I had done told him I didn’t feel good, that my tummy was hurting, and that I didn’t want to stay long. He said yeah okay. I sat in his car the whole time he was out talking with everyone. This guy named Mike paid me more attention than Roger did!

I had to piss really bad, but I held it becuz I knew he wouldn’t want to take me the nearest bathroom which was at Hardees which was like 2.2 seconds across the parking lot from us. I don’t know what the hell has been wrong with him. He’s acted a little stuck up since him and I got back together. He’s acting very weird to me. I eventually said I had to piss so he did take me. He got him something to eat while we were over there. I asked him about how much longer we were gonna stay out there and he said I dunno. I asked him if after he ate we could leave and he said give me a few minutes. I had no problem with that…but I did make sure he knew my tummy was still hurting.

We got back over to where everyone was and he ate and talked. Well, it was 10:30 and I was ready to go so I went over to where he was talking to some guys and told  him I wanted to leave. So he got all pissy at me and didn’t talk to me on the way home!! I told him he could run me home and go back out there but he didn’t. The fact he knew I didn’t feel good and was ready to go and yet he still stood out there socializing hurt my feelings!!

Sometimes I wonder if he’s just using me to a certain extent. My dad bought him a plane ticket to go out there to Oregon with me. My mom is going to take us to California cuz she lives about an hour or so away from the state line. Roger is psyched about that!! That’s all he’s been talking about! He’s just recently needed a digital camera to take pics of his car becuz he got sponsered by someone and they want pics….he doesn’t have one and won’t go buy one. I have one. He even went as far as saying he’ll pay me $5-7 everytime he uses it. I don’t want his money!!

It just pisses me off becuz he promised me he would NOT buy anything for his car, unless he needed it to make it run, until after he went to my mom’s. We have 21 days until we go and he owes someone like $170!! The he keeps buy all kinds of shit for his car. He doesn’t have any suit cases!!! He has no sweaters that actually fit him. He has one jacket which I don’t even think fits anymore!! He doesn’t understand he needs to get his priorities in line right now!! It’s truely pissing me off, even more then that, it’s hurting me. He has broke so many promises to me in the past 171/2 months….I don’t know what to do! It’s over little things though, nothing major. But if he’s breaking them now, how do I know he won’t 1 year from now!! And Roger does NOT know how to manage his money!! He rents games and movies and buys dinner and gets gas all on his debit card and when the statement comes in he’s all bitching becuz he doesn’t remember spending $4.87 or whatever!! He won’t keep his receipts won’t write it on a calendar, nothing!!

I just don’t know what I’m going to do right now. I love him so much, but this can’t go on forever like this. I’m not paying for shit for him when he to Oregon…except one dinner at Olive Garden. My dad said I could treat my mom and him out to there. (He’s never eaten there before) His attitude towards everything is making me ill.