Part of a story

I STILL TEXT HIM.

Stubborn as it may seem, but I still couldn’t stop. I told a friend about it and she asked me this question, “Does this help you, in any way? If it does, then go on until you’ll be fine.” I said, yes. Texting him helps me, and him replying to me in an uninterested manner does help.  I’m not sure if someone would understand, but I want him gone gradually. Instant blocking doesn’t work as it really bothers me and make me think a lot. I feel better each day and little by little I’ve learned to accept that there’s no chance for us. Although he’s still inconsistent in some ways, but deep in my heart, I know he’ll never see me the way I see him, nor like me as much as I like him.  One day, he’ll forget about me. But I’m sure for myself that there’s no way I could ever forget him.

If you have read the book, “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”, I have thought of him as one of the five. He had this role to play which may be insignificant to his life, but was significant to mine. Before this year ends, and if everything will go as planned, I’ll be living in the other side of the world. From Southeast Asia to South America. And it might have not happened if not for that day that he made me so sad which led me to sending my CV to a friend. He will always be part of my story, and that’s something I’ll have to live with forever.

Yes, I still text him. And it’s not because I’m still hoping for a chance, but because I know there’s none.