Interesting Day.
For sure.
So ya’ll who follow me (all 2 of you, LOL) know that my job just isn’t… well, super appealing to me currently. The plus side is I LOVE my company, but I really just don’t enjoy what I am currently doing (selling a very, very intense technical cloud product to people much smarter than me). I’ve just been going through the motions with it, making money (and not closing SHIT for deals)… so yeah. Boo.
WELL TODAY – I plan on organizing and coordinating our co-ed company volleyball team. Easy, peezy. I message the girl in charge of it, who works out of another state’s office and we talk on the phone for a minute. She then asks if I’d like to help take on event planning as our two contacts in my office were at their bandwidth. Since I’m not really doing SHIT right now when it comes to my own job… I was like SURE! So she invited me to a call on Thursday for some upcoming projects.
SO THEN – we message later that day and I let her know HEY – I’ve WANTED to get into HR and that type of environment, FOREVER> EVERYONE at my current company knows it. She goes OMG – there’s a job opening! We’re hiring on my team! I was like wait whatttttt?! So I look at the job, and of course it’s amazing. Unfortunately, it’s based out of the other state’s offices, so I asked how big of a deal would it be to be based out of Seattle? She said probably not that big of a deal! You should apply! So I’m going to! I’m really excited at this opportunity.
However – my coworker in my current office has already started forwarding me a ton of stuff to help with. Which is great… but I haven’t really spoken with my bosses yet. :/ I’m nervous to talk to them because they might think I’m trying to get out of my current responsibilities. News flash – they’re right! Also, the SVP of my particular segment thinks the world of me as a SALESPERSON. I fucking HATE that about my company. Another guy on my team, we’ll call him CL, also never wanted to really become a bonafied salesperson – but because he was so good at it, they basically forced him into it. I feel like they kind of did the same to me; like oh, if you don’t apply to be in sales, you’re out of a job.
Anyway. I’m going to have the convos tomorrow and Friday. I’ve wanted so badly to be in human resources for a long time. And this is my chance; not only that, but I have an IN! Which is great. Anyway. I’m ready to take that next step into something I want to do. And I’ll be damned if I let anything stand in my way.
The unfortunate thing about all this? Well – Mitchell is back in the hotel this week to be on call for a huge event his company is throwing. He’s literally on call-24/7 so he stays in a hotel just in case there is a 2 am emergency. I wish I was kidding. Obviously I’m really supportive, but it SUCKS when I have this type of thing come up (new job opportunity) and I would love his support in applying for it. IE, help with my resume, cover letter, etc. It’s tough to get his attention even though he tries so incredibly hard to give it to me when he’s so busy with work. 🙁
POLL TIME – do you guys ever experience extreme moments where you feel as you are not in the right place at the right time? That is honestly what I am experiencing. It’s a pretty unfortunate feeling. Like I just absolutely 100% feel like I am not in the right job. I can’t get out of bed in the morning, and no longer do the things I enjoy doing. I just feel so… lost?! I know this is definitely signs of depression and anxiety; both of which I deal with
regularly, and am fairly high-functioning, all things considered.
For instance, right now I am in a conference room – should be preparing for some customer calls, should be outreaching to current people to setup meetings, but instead I am hiding and writing a post on here. It makes me sad! I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling anxiety EVERY DAY. I 100% wish I knew how to find happiness. I will say, my dog and my husband make me SO happy. I am completely content with my personal life. It’s just here, work that’s making me a little crazy.
Ready for today to be done (by the way, this post was written over two days -started some last night then of course finishing the remainder @ work
Anyway all, let me know if you’ve ever had a wrong-time, wrong-place feeling before. It’s so incredibly off-putting when it comes to peace of mind. As in, there is none cuz your brain is like GET OUT OF THERE.
Much love,
~Elle