The End.
I HAVE TO MOVE ON.
For a month now, I was in an on and off communication with Andy. He’s the guy I was talking about in my past entries. And I think, this time, it’s like the ultimate end of it. For the 3rd time, he blocked me. And here’s the rest of the story.
We were having a good chat this morning and he sent me a picture of his laptop with our conversation opened. I’ve seen that he hasn’t even saved my number because it should have been my name that appeared beside my picture and not my number. And later in the afternoon, he texted me that he messed up. He accidentally sent that photo to his ex. He called me and made me promise not to reply to her in case she texts me. I promised. And the truth was then revealed. They’re engaged! His ex, wasn’t his ex after all but his fiance. And there I was doomed.
“See you in the next life”, his text before he blocked me. I honestly don’t wanna see him in the next life if he’s only meant to hurt me.
Again, I felt stupid. My heart shattered and felt numb. Never in my life have I thought of ruining any relationship. Right there, I knew that whatever feelings I have developed for him has to stop. I have to accept the pain and move on! But damn, moving on is not as easy as falling in love. And I have to move on because there’s no point of even hoping for something that I know is never gonna happen.
I want to cry my heart out, but I can’t. Crying makes me feel more stupid. I want to curse him, but I can’t. It’s not who I am. And I only asked God, why? I know there was a reason why he came into my life, but why do I always fall for someone who’s never gonna love me back?
I hate this pain, but I have to live with for a while. I just hope and pray that this will all be gone soon. And I sincerely pray that wherever he is in his life right now, he’ll live a good one and that girl will love her faithfully.
This is the part where you need to get angry. Healthy anger is often times a good thing.
This guy is playing mind games with you. Blocking you? What is? 12 years old?
His behavior is clearing showing he has no respect for you at all and it’s time to cut him from your life because you deserve better then what he has to offer.
I can relate to his behavior because I did the same crap when I was 18. I would block a girl I was seeing so she could not contact me while I spoke to other woman. Looking back, I’m pretty sure in today’s cultures this is what they call a “DICK” move.
You should be angry at him and channel that anger in to letting him go. Turn the tables and block him and go out and hang with friends, maybe see a guy, who knows.
Staying at home and lamenting about him…. after all he has done, is he really worth a second thought?
I know this is blunt and I’m sorry, but life is to short to waste on idiot people like him.
You got this.
@hrhkingofice To be honest, I don’t get angry so easily. I wish I could, but in the end, I only have myself to blame for allowing it to happen. Maybe that is why I’m having a hard time letting it go. And I always don’t want to be the first person to let go. But now, I really have to take that courage to do it. There’s no win situation for me in this anyway. It hurts, but I have to accept it.
Right now, I’m just trying to get myself busy with some stuff at work and preparing my requirements for that new job.
Anyway, thank you for not getting tired of reading my entries and leaving a note and believing that I can do this. It really helps.
Warning Comment
Oh, Sweet Woman,
I’m sorry it had to be like this, but I’m so glad you’re finally seeing that he’s a liar and a player, and you deserve so much better.
Don’t feel stupid. We all find ourselves loving the wrong person at some point in our lives. Learn from it. That’s the best thing you can do.
You’ll never hear me tell a person that everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe that is true. I believe that things happen because there are billions of people on this planet living their lives. Some of us live our lives to make a positive difference in the world. Some live their lives to make themselves feel important no matter who it may hurt.
I wish I could hug you. I’d let you cry on my shoulder as long as you need to and I wouldn’t let you feel stupid. He’s the stupid one. I feel sorry for the woman he’s engaged to. 💞💞💞💞💞💞
@oniongirl Thank you. I really struggle on letting my emotions out. I also don’t like people seeing me cry. But the other day, I did cry in front of a friend. And she knew me very well and thought that it must have hurt a lot that I was not able to help myself from crying even when she’s around. At least I felt better after that, although it still hurts. I know I’ll get through this soon. I’ll just keep myself busy and always surround myself with people cause I tend to think a lot when I’m alone. 🙂
@justanotherrandomgirl good. I’m glad you were able to let it out. And surrounding yourself with people is good, too. When Rick and I broke up, I listened to Audiobooks to fill the quiet when I was alone. If you need any recommendations, let me know. They’re my favorite!
Warning Comment
I don’t know your history with this guy, but it doesn’t sound like it’s been either reciprocal or honest (on his end). For that, I am sorry.
I will echo what HHR King of Fire and OnionGirl have said – Fire up some healthy, warranted anger and work him out of your head and your heart. He doesn’t deserve you or your love, bc it doesn’t sound like he’s earned it. Be good to yourself. 💙
@wayward_woman Thank you for your note. I’m trying to be good to myself so as not to feel stupid again. I’ll be over him soon, I hope. 😊
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I was hoping there was nothing more going on with him and his ex, but I guess so. I’m sorry and your not stupid. I wouldn’t say doomed I would say devastated. “Some people come into our life as a blessing, others come into out life as a lesson”. Stopping your feelings for him is gonna be hard. You can cry if you want to there’s nothing wrong with that. Remember you have to go through it to get over it. Now you need to block him and delete all forms of contact associated with him.
@sweetie04 Well for a start, I deleted the last texts he sent me. Those that I just stare at. Soon, I’ll be able to delete his number and block him too. Just taking one step at a time. 🙂
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