week 31

This week’s theme punched me in the gut then kneed my nuts. Tell us about an act of kindness. It should be easy, I’m pressed for time but not hard pressed. The immediate present hasn’t been filled with a lot of kindness. A buddy gave me tomatoes and summer squash, but that wasn’t altruistic, he had way too many. I have been fucked by all my health care professionals, which could be an act of kindness if literal and if I could pick their surrogates. But it was not.

Me, I’m a kind motherfucker, if my mind wasn’t in the immediate present and future gear, I could come up acts of kindness flowing from me like a glacial waterfall. The kindest thing I’ve done in the last week is not kill a motherfucker who deserved it, ok, motherfuckers. In fact, I didn’t kill, maim or even threaten seven billion people last week and I’m sure many deserved it for some reason or the other. Maybe if we weren’t living during the fall of an empire …

Ok, this sucks but it did happen this morning. I went to the QD at seven ish in the AM, for apple cider and donuts. It’s a real thing, I don’t get it, but it’s real. Cider is taken seriously here; it’s too early in the season. This short, wide African American woman had a twelve pack of corona and two forties. I offered her counter space, would have even given my place in line if I wasn’t half-way into transaction. She was a little overdressed and had thick aquamarine eyeshadow on — I’m not sure who can pull that off. We struck up a friendly conversation, polite with a bit of PG flirting, and wished each other a fine day.

In the grand scheme of theme of things perhaps that wasn’t exactly kind. In the petit scheme of things, it was damn near chivalrous. Polite is often a given around here, it’s not often kind, just polite. I’m still pressed for time. I need to revisit this theme of the week. I started doing them to be snarky; this one I need for my psychological well-being. Um, that’s sort of why I’m pressed for time. Neurology appointment at 130. Though I might have a brain tumor, it’s unlikely I’ll be told that. For one thing that clinic hates transparency but loves diagnostic tests. I’m not real keen on having a brain tumor, but, perhaps they’ll quit being asshats to me. I will settle for the type of kindness that involves not being an asshat.