To whom it may concern..

I guess a little more than not lately things have been falling apart brick by brick. Little things at first and then working them selves up to bigger things. The last two weeks have treated me horribly. on 4/13/06 I lost my job with Mosianti Brothers Inc. (MOOSECO) I was told I took my job too seriously and that others had a difficult time getting along with me and that I didn’t really fit in. I gave Jerry my half of the situation as long as he was serving up a nice helping of fuck off. That was last Thursday. My fucking car quit on me on fucking Saturday. What more can fucking happen to me I’m so sick and god damn tired of things happening to me. I spoke to Ashley either last night or the night before. I don’t remember. She tells me "You sound depressed all the time like theres a problem and sometimes it makes me somewhat depressed just to even talk to you." Well Ashley I’m not aiming to make anyone depressed. I’m not looking for people to ‘feel sorry" for me. I’m not looking for someone to ‘Pity" me. She tells me "I need to find something to do or something that makes me happy." what I’m thinking to my self "All that I once had that made happy is now gone. " Doesn’t matter what makes me happy it never seems to stick around long enough to keep me that way. If there is a god and there truely is someone watching over us all I believe hes having one hell of a time fucking with me. As Jim Carry once said in a comedy film "Bruce Almighty" he said "God is picking on me hes a mean kid with a magnifying glass sitting next to an ant hill and burning off my feelers just to watch me squirm" In a sence this feels like this. I believe in no god or powerful being what so ever. I will believe it when I see it. It just seems like no matter what I do anymore its not the right choice or its not the right thing. I’ve got my car back now actually. It’s been in and out of a shop more times than I can count and still has to go yet  my only inclination at this point regarding my vehicle is to get this finished gradually. Seems as though I AM the poster child for Murphys law. "If it can go wrong.. It will" I’m kind of pissed off a quite a few people right now. I’m pissed off at Brant. I went to McDonalds last night with Jay and hung out with the gang.. had to of been at least 20 of us hanging around 2 or 3 cars. Brant started smoking weed and a cop drove by. I told him to get rid of it and he just looked at me like I was crazy or something. I’m pissed off at chris because hes wasting his life away smoking pot and me and Jay keep telling him to quit other wise he’ll end up in jail again. And neither of us want to have him there. I’m pissed off at Jodi. She knows whats going on right now. I do like her in a sence but not to where I wan’t to get into a relationship with her. Shes still in highschool and I feel all that highschool shit needs to stay there. I don’t need anymore of that. She just never does what she says shes going to. I’m so fucking sick and tired of hearing this from everyone "Ya I’ll call you tonight" or "Let me call you back" or "Ya just call me later" and then not answer the god damn phone. Chris is notorious for this. Doesn’t matter what hes doing he’ll just look at his phone as it rings and shrug it off. I don’t know about Ashley.. I really don’t. She acts as though shes eternally pissed at me for something. Everytime I call I get this drawn out responce of "YA?" like she doesn’t want to answer the phone. Well excuse me for calling I just like to call my friends and see how they’re doing that’s all. Im sorry I’m interupting what ever is going on. I came home around 10:45 last night and I get a call from the fucking Roscoe Police Department. Calling me and asking me if I know "Kaitlyn Skermont" I said yes I do. There is a court order in effect and is still outstanding. And I guess what happened was I was behind her god damn school bus on my way home from Brandons house and she got off and saw me thinking I was tailing the bus. I told the officer I was just on my way home and that I had no idea that, that was even her school bus. I told him he wouldn’t have to call me again. I’ll be avoiding that road as much as possible I don’t care. It’s just a side road anyway. Nothing I’m going to jail over but its enough to rattle my cage and piss me off. I guess Jay is going to call me at 12.. Coby and I are going to hang out after lunch.. And I have to go and get my Alkaline Trio ticket. I went and filed for unemployment this morning. If it comes through I’ll get 300$ a month.. 150 every two weeks and roughly 75$ a week. I’ve got several things I need to sell so that I can pocket some money. But to ebay it, it’s going to cost me some more to list it. So I don’t really know. I finally got the last of my DA equipment from Staci’s house so I never have to talk to her ever again. I asked her if I could get my stuff and she called me an inconciderate asshole and I called her ignorant cunt. I told her that she needs to grow up and stop playing kiddy games with everyone. I said for her to not bother calling until she grows up and quits being a baby about everything. And stop the fucking lies shes told her friends. Needless to say I know that this will never become a reality so I basically consider any contact that was eminent between us has now deminished into nothing. Which is fine by me because I don’t need things like that in my life at the moment. As for now I’m going to get my Trio ticket and I’m going to pick up some applications and fill them out. Once I get back I need to fill out a form for FurstStaffing and Kelly Services. I’ve already applied at employability but it’s been over a month since I called them.

-Lataz…