A sad reuniting with an old friend

When I was out and about being a bad girl, I became close with someone on my daughter’s father’s side of the family. He was a bad drug and alcohol user. Eventually we hooked up a few times and decided being good friends was the best option . After committing some major crimes he turned himself in after going on the run. We had built an instead friendship full of drama and destruction in our chaotic world. I visited him in the jail, before I would meet my own consequences. He was shipped off to another state and we wrote each other everyday. Through letters we became close in desperation to find connection. When I went through rehabilitation I met my current boyfriend and didn’t wrote him is often. I became more involved with my present life of change and positivity. He tried to remain hopeful that his charges wouldn’t land him in prison for years and years and maybe he’d get bail. I went home and became a nurse . While I’m a school and a new relationship my current boyfriend found the letters and questioned the intentions of my relationship with my good friend. It caused a conflict although explaining this man had been there for me through this process. There was no convincing my boyfriend, which was understandable because I had previously had an impaired romance with this so called good friend. I accepted less calls and told him my relationship was suffering because of our friendship. He tried to understand but being alone and facing federal charges with no help made him uneasy. The calls ceased for a while in respect, but I became on edge without being updated. After nearly two years he was granted a year of bail before sentencing… He was put through rehab and then to a halfway house. We had little contact. He got a job and remained clean for a while until he met a woman he had previously been seeing that was doing meth. He disappeared and after two months he called me, sick and desperate. I gave him a ride the other day and felt so much sadness after years of hopeful wishes and new chances. He had lost forty lbs and was weak from drug use. I told him to go back to rehab, but he didn’t want to hear it. It’s sad, to see what this does to people. A once fairly well spoken and positive man now lagging in speech and angry at the world with drugs as the remedy. He told me I deserved happiness and I should be happyy life is coming together. He told his friend I’m one of the few that have always loved him and I have one of the biggest hearts in anyone hes met. It felt good to hear that. The man I love sees no good in me. He constantly belittles me and minimizes my current accomplishments. I feel so lost and sad all the time because I crave love and honesty . I asked for money because I’m broke and have to get to work for a week and he did not like that idea. I’ve never asked for more than ten dollars and he has thousands, he wants a family but looks out for only himself. It’s not money I want, I just want him to care. So yes, it’s been a sad few days. I wish my friend would’ve stayed clean.