Locks

For the longest time (until rather recently) I had a recurring theme in my dreams. The dreams themselves could vary in the details – I found out that I’d missed almost an entire semester of high-level math, or I wouldn’t be allowed to play soccer – but they were all set in high school, and in almost every single dream, I’d forgotten a locker combination. I would feel a rather strong anxiety while I stood there, twirling the dial on the lock this way and that, hoping to luck out. In some dreams, I went so far as to head to the office, or send someone there, in search of the elusive locker combination. Alas, nothing ever worked.

After years and years and years of having these dreams, I had some sort of subconscious breakthrough. Suddenly I knew the combination, and the lock, a portable one, opened and fell into my hands. Victory! And I’ve never had a "can’t open my locker" dream since.

A few years ago, I had health insurance that paid for most of my yearly gym membership. Since I lost that insurance, the health insurance I’ve had has been bare-bones, no perks and barely any bones. I’ve had a purple portable lock since the beginning of my long-defunct gym membership.

I’ve forgotten the combination.

If this had happened while I was having the above-mentioned dream, I imagine that I wouldn’t have taken it well. I imagine that I would have become quite anxious about it. I don’t know what unopenable locks signify in dreams, but I do know that it would have freaked me out just as much if I were awake. Now… not so much. In fact, no anxiety at all, no wish to scour my room for the little slip of paper with the combination on it, which I know I must have saved somewhere.

Apparently I worked through some deep-seated anxiety in my sleep. Isn’t that wonderfully strange?