Troubled and brilliant
It’s been a rough few days…rough and amazing. Keeps flipping back and forth. Rehearsal will be awful, then brilliant. I’ll do disasterous classwork, then act at performance-quality. I feel euphoric and hyper, then exhausted and sick. It think it has to do with being so stressed out.
Web opens tomorrow. It isn’t ready. The show itself is ready, but we haven’t teched yet. I want to make sure I make this clear. It is midnight on Wednesday, we open at 8:00 on Thursday, and we haven’t teched yet. We couldn’t get into the space until today, and all we did today in the space was run Act II. The show is ready, but tomorrow has the strong potential to be a mess.
Yesterday’s rehearsal was the best we’ve ever had. Very, very unfortunately, I wasn’t there. Robbie decided to push back the rehearsal dates for Tenor by a week, and he called Steve and me for the first read-through yesterday. Because his show is Black Box and Brendan’s show doesn’t have any standing in the department, he has the right to call us whenever he wants. Including during our tech week for another show. And there’s nothing any of us can do about it. The read-through was fine, it was fun, I had a good time. But I am so furious with Robbie right now for making me miss my second-to-last rehearsal for Web. I am in Web very deeply right now, I mean I am in it, I’m so deeply in it that my head doesn’t break the surface, it’s hard to get anything else done. And I missed our most intense rehearsal ever, our first rehearsal with the cowriter of the show, our only dress rehearsal, and our second-to-last rehearsal for a first read-through, because I was not given a choice. Robbie would do best to stay away from me until Web has at least opened, so I know how it goes, because right now it could go either way tomorrow and I don’t frankly think I could be civil to Robbie right now.
I’m working on a play wtih Dan S in scene study called Ikke, Ikke, Nye, Nye, Nye. It’s a 15-minute play by Lanford Wilson and it is crazy and we don’t have time to put it together because we’re both in rehearsal for Web every minute of our lives. We presented the first five or so minutes on Tuesday, and the class enjoyed it for the play’s sheer shock value, but it was very poor work. We’re expected to have the whole thing for this coming Tuesday. Hmmm…don’t know how that’s ever going to happen. Web closes Saturday night, I’m called again for Tenor rehearsal starting Saturday morning…aaaaaaaaaahhhhh! I can’t do this! I can’t do it all!
In musical theatre, apparently I did performance-quality work today. Except for my actual singing, which was a mess because I’m sick and I have no voice. At least I have a speaking voice, good thing since I have a show tomorrow night. In which I don’t have to sing, thank G-d. But we’ve been rehearsing in Brendan’s living room the whole month, and now that we’re finally in the space, we all have muscle memory habits of speaking very quietly, film-style acting. So today, in the space, no one could hear us. I want to scream. We have a show tomorrow and we’re simply not ready, through no fault of our own. We’d be ready to perform in Brendan’s living room, without costumes or props or set, but actually in the space (which is tiny, by the way)? Oh, no, no, no.
Peter, the guy who wrote the show with Brendan, is quite amazing and it’s a pleasure to meet him and work with him and have him around. Compliments from him are a big thing, too, and he seems to like my work, so that’s very flattering and exciting. I’m so exhausted, I’m so worn out but I can’t sleep, I’m too keyed up. I have to read all the sonnets. Not for tomorrow, but for soon…I just read the first ten, they’re all about how this guy needs to get married so he can have kids and pass on how attractive he is. I assume they get more varied as we continue.
My mother’s flying in for this show, tomorrow. It had better be good. She’s come a long way.
I should probably shower and get to bed. If I do messy work tomorrow in class, well, so be it. As long as the show is clean. And strong. And loud. And good. Brendan deserves that, Peter deserves that, we all do. We’ve worked so hard. I wish we had another week, just one more week. A couple of dress rehearsals. I’ve never rehearsed in costume, because we had no budget, so Raina’s mother is providing my costume and she doesn’t get in until tomorrow afternoon. It’ll be too big and have to be pinned…I’m exhausted and stressed out and furious with Robbie and very nervous about this show. I just want it to be good. I just want it to be good.
–Stephanie