Mine and yours…..or ours?

I’m sitting here at work (yes, I’m at work on a Sunday, shut up) and something is on my mind that I’d like opinions on.  And this is NOT a "my kid is better than his kids" thing either.  Just hear me out…

My husband and I have separate bank accounts.  We didn’t always, but when we shared one it was always getting overdrawn because one never knew what the other was doing, so when he started traveling a lot for work he got his own account, I got my own, and we closed the joint one.  It’s worked out very well for us.  He pays the rent, the furniture and the cable bill and puts gas in his own vehicle.  His cell phone is through work, so he has no cell phone bill, and his vehicle is a work vehicle so he has no car or car insurance payment.  I pay my car payment, car insurance, electric/gas bill, cell phone bill, and put gas in my own car. 

We have four kids….my son, who is 20, and his three daughters, one who is 20 and has two kids of her own, and a 16 and 14 year old.  Tony has always paid child support (as he should) and has never once missed a payment.  For the younger two, though, not only does he pay child support, but anything else they need (lunch money, money for sports, books, clothes, shoes, etc.), he also pays for those things as well.  Neither of them work part time or babysit to earn any spending money.  His 20 year old, like I said before, has two babies and works part time.  Obviously her child support stopped when she graduated high school in 2010.  She also never worked while in high school.  Last year Tony bought her a car.  Not a brand new car, but he spent over $4,000 on it.  Since then he’s also paid for new tires, and an oil change that ended up costing almost $300 because she had almost blown the engine by not getting regular oil changes for it.  He’s also given her $100 here and $150 there because she’s always broke. 

My son is 20.  He joined the Navy after he graduated high school.  He works hard and has already made Petty Officer and received several awards.  I never bought Josh a car.  Josh worked at McDonald’s while he was in high school for spending money.  A few months ago my dad gave Josh his Jeep, a ’93 Jeep Wrangler.  Let me tell you, the way my father takes care of things, that Jeep still looks brand-spanking-new!  He gave it to Josh for doing so well in the Navy, and because my dad was buying a new truck.  Josh has not once asked me for a dime since even before he graduated high school, and his dad and step-mom didn’t give him any either for extras.  That’s why he got a job at McDonald’s.  Josh is getting married this October to a wonderful girl named Mia.  Mia has already got her wedding dress, which she paid for herself, and they’ve both been saving their money for this wedding and have put the deposit down on the venue. 

Here’s where things get sticky.  My mom is giving my sister and I each $10,000 in March.  It’s from some sort of account she started while we were younger and she wants us to have the money now so we can do what we want with it and she’s around to see us enjoy it.  I was talking to Josh, Mia and Mia’s mom and dad via Skype the other night and told them that since Josh is my only child, I would like to pay for the catering for the reception.  I’ve been looking and pricing and it looks like it’ll cost me about $2,000.  I’m planning on paying for it out of the $10k my mom gives me.  Well, as soon as I hung with them, Tony looked at me and said "You never discussed this with me!"  I told him first off, this is my son, my ONLY CHILD, who we have never given a fucking dime to, and that I was planning on paying for it out of the money my mom gives me.  Guess what he said in response to that……"You still should have discussed it with me because first, it’s OUR money, and second, we also have to buy Michaela (his 16 year old daughter) a car." 

I bit my tongue almost completely off and just left the room, because I was about to do some serious damage…..if not to him, then to the house.  It hasn’t been brought up since, but here’s my thoughts on it…..that $10k is MY money, from MY MOTHER, and I will do what I damn well please with it!  And where the FUCK does he get off thinking I’m going to use it to buy HIS kid a car, when I never even bought my own kid a car!!  I’m furious……..no, I’m livid!

Am I wrong??