a bi polar 24 hours.

sorry its been so long since i’ve written… i really have lost track of myself in the past week, and only now am i regaining the sense of where the hell i am and whats going on.

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yesterday night was the crunch night… props, scenic design, dances, b-ball, etc… it sucked… recently ive been in a very pissy mood about the state of everything i’m doing right now… i think it has something to do with the fact that i’m doing stuff that i should, but there isn’t that ‘free time’ for social games, random other hobbies or stare at the wall time. 

so therefore i’ve adopted a lot of negative engergy.  I know a few people who are indirectly responsible for it… mostly cuz i’ve had to spend time with them and they have the negative evergy flowing and i’ve just been a magnet to that shit recently. 

Well, today has kind of been a turn around.  Everything calmed down.  i slept in, chilled in scenic design, chilled in jazz class, had a nice meeting for styles, chilled in teh computer lab, then chilled at home, then chilled with the chair for props class, then chilled at home again and cleaned my room.

Valentines day is an event.  I dont buy into the romance thing, (if you dont know that by now, then you should be hit over the head).  and therefore v-day is just a silly holiday that makes you think of 2nd grade… I have a elementary school mentality to the whole thing… which might not work so well at a party entitled ‘slutty valentines (after all, how many slutty 2nd graders do you know)

wallflower just came on my winamp.  good song… one of them that can definetley relate to my life.   I’ve noticed a lot of the tech dept are currently going our seperate ways…. i mean, we are all still friends, but it seems as if we all are doing our own thing, a lot of which is just ‘alone’ time, and basically the obsessive middle school clique is over.

whats the difference between a friend and just a friendly aquaintence?

its a good question, because i am stuck often wondering if have friends, or if i just have an assload of friendly aquaintences.  I know there is a wall there that some people can’t get through, and i think that wall has proably caused people to stop trying. 

ah.  another OD that doesn’t make sense.  I almost take some level of pride in the fact that people have no clue what the fuck i’m talking about.  but then again, its that wall thing.

and i can’t hold up this wall.. any longer… any long, cuz all i have is time and time and time.

well its shower time,…. gotta see what the new ‘look’ is gonna look like.

d.