another night of deviance

I dont know what’s happened to me. I have a case presentation this week which will take about a week to prepare – it’s an assessed thing. It is in 2 days time and I have yet to do any work towards it whatsoever. Yesterday I was free all day, and yet what did I do with my time?

Well, I got out of bed late, chatted to random guys on the internet, went into town and bought some nice new tops and underwear, then about 10pm I met yet another guy.

He came round to mine, we sat on my bed and talked for maybe 10 minutes, and then basically he ended up fingering me and playing with my tits. He said 2 immortal lines: 1. "If you’re not enjoying this, why are you so very wet?" (The thing that freaks me out abuot people touching me is the very fact that i do get wet, so needless to say people saying that doesnt help matters), and 2. "It appears you’ve cut yourself on your hand, and back and leg." I told him about the guy this weekend and how it wasnt me that did it, i dont know if he believed me or if he thought it was even worse that i’d let someone else cut me or what, but he didnt say any more about it.

Anyway, we spent about 3 hours rolling round on the bed, me literally fighting off, and yet his fingers always ending up in a certain place. I kept asking him where he was hoping it would lead, and he kept saying nowhere, so I gave him literally nothing in return. I dont think i even touched him. Obviously that will have pissed him off so I feel a bit bad now. I also told him no-one had ever made me cum before, and he seemed to redouble his efforts to keep his hand down there after that. Needless to say, he didnt make me cum.

Anyway, eventually he got bored enough and left. He then came online and told me he’s going away for 2 weeks and will see me when he’s back. Good thing I didnt do anything then.

The wanker is meant to come back from the desert today I think, plus i’ve agreed to spend the whole weekend with some guy from Watford – yet another random guy from the internet that i’ve never met before.

I’m not sure, but I think that all this sexual stuff with random people when I really truely need to be working is another way of falling apart.