Everything Will Change

Hello beloved diary people.  Its been far too long.  A lot has happened and a lot has changed.

To recap where I was when I last wrote:
Penn and I broke up because he cheated on me with a girl that has the same birthday.
I quit my job back in April because it was killing my soul.
I took 3 jobs to replace that money the best I could and the struggle is real.

Some of these things have changed.

Penn and I are still broken up.  I forgive him for what he did , but I cant forget the betrayal.  He has asked me to come back several times, but i now I cant do that.

I realized that even with three jobs, (Uber, Food Delivery & Lyft) It didn’t come close to the money that I had been making.  Making my car payments was all I worked for. I am lucky to have the friend that I have and that I did not end up having to live in my car.  I cant tell you how close it got.

I started submitting resumes  back in early May.  I had a few interviews.  I got hired as a school bus driver but it was going to cost me money to get the licensing and I wouldn’t have actually started working until the end of this month, so I declined that offer.  I had a few phone interviews that went well but obviously they decided to go in different directions.

I even went to this “interview” for a company called rule of 9.   I got called for a 2nd interview, it was the Wednesday after I found out about Penn cheating.  I held my shit together the best I could but when that motherfucker asked me to GIVE HIM 900 DOLLARS so that I could learn the “Proprietary methods” I about fucking died.  My car battery died that morning and I didn’t have the money to buy a new one, my heartbreak was still incredibly raw, and then this dude asked me for a grand.  I got in the car I BORROWED to go to this interview and promptly fell to pieces.  I remember that day very vividly.  Once I got home, I got in my bed and cried for the next 3 hours until I fell asleep.  I was just crushed.

I applied for jobs to do anything.  I looked in both states to either side of the one i live in. I applied to work at home gigs, I applied for manager, supervisor and regular employee jobs.  I even applied for things Ihad never done before, like pest control ( they pay pretty damn well) and NOTHING.

Through all of this I got closer to my friend Roshi.  We have been friends for a while but it was more peripheral friendship.  He is the one that helped me get a new battery into my car.  We talk all the time, and hang out on occasion.  One day we were talking and I told him that everything would start changing in the solstice.  Im  a believer that we live in cycles.  this is just the way it goes.

Bam! the solstice hits  and everything starts to change.

good stuff, but i tired so ill write more tomorrow.  For now, suffice it to say , Im good..  thank you all so much for your love and s upport 🙂