it kills me

the worst thing in the world is thinking, even for a second, that the person you love has feelings of doubt or hopelessness.

how can someone talk so easily about a future with you and then write things about their first love and how its damaged them so much…how am i supposed to react to that..

its just, after being with someone for almost two years, you kind of expect them to be over a one year relationship that happened in high school..shouldn’t a two year relationship in the real world, that is full of love and support, mean more and erase the girl who cheated?

i just get angy when i find things like that..anything that doubts our relationship that he doesn’t feel like he needs to discuss with me..

how am i supposed to react.

if i did it, i couldn’t be upset, but i only doubt myself. i’m completely self-centered but i love him. the time i wrote something about problems we were having, i showed him.

its bad enough i don’t know how to make myself happy. but it kills me to think i don’t make him happy, like i’m not good enough.

i’m angry and i’m sad.

i’m hurt.