Backlog

And so we launch awkwardly into another week. I managed to sunburn myself at the beach this weekend. I’m not badly burnt, but my face is slightly pink and the backs of my legs are a little sore. It’s my own fault. I forgot the sun cream. I was worried about the boy, but I shouldn’t have. He was running around in his shorts for about four hours and his beautiful Asian skin was not even slightly burnt. He has no idea how lucky he is. We had a good day in Devon which concluded with a barbecue anyway. I hope the weather continues to be nice for a while. This week of course terminates with the Queen’s jubilee celebrations. I don’t care very much except we have two, yes two, bank holidays next week. Now that is worth dancing about.

Tony Blair the scum bag gave evidence to the Leveson inquiry yesterday. God that has dragged on hasn’t it. I can’t make myself care about phone hacking, but it was nice to see Blair interrupted by a maniac protester calling him a war criminal. Apparently the protester was named as David Lawley Wakelin and somehow he managed to gain entry through a (not very) secure door. It also transpired that the gentleman heckled Blair on question time a while ago. Good for him I say.

Did you see the Eurovision song contest this weekend? Wasn’t it awful? I only heard the winning song by the weird Swedish Morticia Adams woman. That was pretty dire, so the others must have been truly excruciating. And of course UK came second to last or something so the annual bitching about how the voting is all rigged has begun. In fact this year it has even been suggested that the BBC pull out. I don’t understand why the UK takes it so seriously. It’s a stupid contest and it’s only a game anyway. Generally Britain doesn’t take things seriously enough. That’s why we have a proud history of mediocrity in sport. And what did they expect when they recruited a 98-year-old has-been? He looked like he’d been embalmed or something.

OK, I haven’t written since the middle of last week so that means I have a backlog of nudity stories.

Firstly, there’s the Lake Norman High School Yearbook scandal. I don’t fully understand the concept of yearbooks because we don’t really have them in this country, but they are common in the US I think. Apparently on page 14 of the Lake Norman High School yearbook this year parents were appalled to discover one of the students seemingly pulling up her gown to reveal her naked crotch. Incidentally, isn’t the word “crotch” horrible. I don’t like that word at all, but I can’t find a nicer sounding word to describe her crotch without sounding smutty, gynaecological, or twee, but I digress. The point is, she’s posing for the photo, all gowned up, underwear at home, and everything is on display. That link is probably not safe for work. There is a censored and an uncensored picture however, and she is reportedly over 18 by the way, so click if you want. The school is saying that they think it’s actually all an optical illusion, of course it is, but what gets me is the fact that the picture was taken at 2011 graduation. So that picture was taken last summer, and no one noticed the young woman in the front row with her gown up around her waste. The picture was then printed and and selected by someone to go in the yearbook and no one noticed. The yearbook was then printed and distributed before anyone noticed. Someone here is not being entirely honest! But however you look at it, that yearbook is a collectors’ piece now.

Secondly, if you’re looking to hire a camper van in Australia I’ve found a place that will give you a discount if you walk into the office naked. I know it sounds like a joke but it’s apparently true and people are taking advantage of it. That’s the whole story, click here to see. That one is safe for work.

And finally, I didn’t know this, but it is apparently perfectly legal in New York for a woman to be topless anywhere that a man can be without a shirt. And what’s more, Philadelphia activist, Moira Johnston, has been exercising her right to get her jubblies out in an effort to raise awareness of the fact. I quite like Moira, though if you click the link you will find a video interview with her (NSFW) and she sounds like a complete space cadet. I’m not really sure what her goals are, but she appears happy, which can only be a good thing, and if you believe the Daily Mail, she’s also a hit with the tourists. Moira was arrested on 16 May and taken away in handcuffs after people complained that she was topless near a children’s playground. She was later released without charge.