Padiddle

So what’s all this about John Travolta playing hide the salami with his masseur then? Who’d have thought it, good Scientologist boy like that, shocking. I wonder if those Scientology nutters will disown him now. They wheel John Travolta and Tom Cruise out at every opportunity as if it somehow validates their bizarre coven. In the interests of impartiality I should probably mention that the assaults in question have not been proven, and JT may well be completely innocent. I think he was junk fumbling with the masseur though.

I’m sure I’d be a nutter if I were that rich. Wealth seems to turn most people into loonies. Look at Elton John, mad as a shit house rat. If fate had dealt him a different hand and he’d ended up pushing paper around in an office like me, I bet he’d be normal. This thought is going to keep me awake at night now.

Abu Qatada has lost his chance of appeal against deportation despite the fact that it was received in time, or not, depending on who you believe. He will apparently now stay in the country anyway while he launches a separate challenge against Jordanian assurances that he won’t be tortured. I can’t help thinking that either prison must be very nice here, or Jordan must be genuinely horrifying to the guy, because, lets face it, he is never going to be able to lead a normal life in London. The fact that the Home Secretary and the EU Court of Human Rights don’t appear to be able to organise the proverbial drinks party in a brewery is astounding to me. The cost for keeping the slime stain in this country has now apparently topped £3 million. You know what, if they gave me say £200,000, I’d shoot the guy and the country could save the money. I’d want to do it anonymously of course, and I’d need to borrow a gun.

Have you ever heard of a game called Padiddle? I hadn’t either, but I found out about it today. Apparently staff at a Wendy’s restaurant in Franklin called police after a car with four naked people went through their drive through section. Incidentally, I don’t now any North American geography, but I think Franklin is in Louisiana, but that is probably not important. The police arrived to find the four naked people in the car who explained that they were playing padiddle. The idea is to drive around looking for cars with one headlight out. Each player has to say “padiddle” and hit the roof of the car when they spot a car with a broken headlight, and the last one to do so has to remove an item of clothing. Sounds like quite a fun game, though it’s not clear to me how all four people could have ended up naked if these are the rules. The good news is none of the four were drunk and they were let off with a warning.

If you’re interested, the finer points of padiddle are all defined here in the urban dictionary.