Written Tuesday, Posted Thursday

Tuesday, and it’s cold. I hate cold. But, to be fair the weather Gods have been kind to us this winter. We’ve only had three or four frosts this winter and we’re already half way through January. I’m hoping this means we have a good summer.

The stupid rear, driver’s side door on the car has decided to lock itself shut and I can’t open the damn thing. I suppose that means the car will have to go back to the garage to be fixed.

My smart phone is too smart for its own good. It decided to do a system update at the weekend. It’s banjaxed half my shortcuts and somehow managed to destroy my Merriam Webster app. I had to reinstall it. Nothing’s ever easy is it. I do love my android, but it doesn’t have to be so complex.

Astounding isn’t it, apparently Europe has decided that we’re not allowed to deport Abu Qatada. He comes here from Jordan on a forged passport in 1993. He claims he was being tortured, so we give him asylum. He claims tens of thousands of pounds in benefits for himself and his five children, preaches hate in local mosque, allegedly plays a part in organising terrorist atrocities, costs us tens of thousands more to keep him in prison when we finally realise what a complete bastard he is. And now it turns out the European court won’t let us send him back where he came from, where incidentally he’s already been convicted of terrorist atrocities. Does that sound ridiculous to anyone else? I’ve got a great idea. If the European court won’t let us return the scum bag to Jordan in case they torture him, why don’t we deport the dirt-bag to Brussels and you morons look after him? If it was up to me we’d cut him into pieces and feed him to the queen’s corgis.

And that’s another thing, what the hell has Michael Gove been smoking? Did he honestly think the public would be behind his idea to buy the queen a new yacht? Seriously? Half the country are having trouble finding money for the weekly grocery bill and he thought he’d have a whip round for a new cruise liner for the richest woman in the world? Timing Michael, timing!

You know, I’ve never much liked Emma Thompson. She appears to me to be both talentless and pretentious in about equal measure. But she’s gone up in my estimation this week since I discovered that she’s apparently a nudist. This came to light on the Jonathan Ross show, which I didn’t watch obviously, because Jonanthan Ross is a giant cock, but that’s beside the point. I rather wish I had footage now. It would appear that Thompson has a habit of stroilling naked through the grounds at her holiday cottage near Dunoon, Argyll, Scotland. She’s had to come clean about this since police were called to her place after a dog walker spotted a naked man. It turned out to be a naked Ms Thompson however. I still think she’s a talentless actress.

And finally, I see that Wikipedia is going to be offline tomorrow in protest against US anti piracy legislation. I support that.