Shoe Gum~

Every day I’d cross the same street (back when I lived in the hood) I’d speak to a man named Adam.  His job was to hold a sign saying Pizza Pizza.  We became pals and he’d give me advice.  Adam had that skin disease where you don’t have any hair.

I worked with people hired from a half way house and got along with everyone.  Then they started hiring petty thugs.  I couldn’t get along with one, so I told him I didn’t like him.  He said I was lucky he wasn’t in a gang cause I just offended him.  I asked Adam, "What do I do pal?"  He asked me if the offended was black, and I said yes.  He said i shouldn’t have done that and to go buy him a cookie from Subway, it worked.

So one day Adam says he really needs two dollars.  Here you go….let’s see if you ask again.  He did, talking about a phone bill.  One lunch break I was about to cross the street and of course speak to Adam, so I took off my shoe lace.  I flopped across the street and asked Adam for his shoe lace.  He waited so long before he said, "I kinda need mine…"   Well Adam…can I at least have your picture?  I returned to work without a shoe lace but with a picture and earned myself some work cred.  The petty thugs didn’t think it was funny, but Adam never brought up money again and I still consider him my pal.

Day before yesterday, here in my new country town….I was all ready for work, the house looked magnificant, and I get a knock at the door.  It’s Gary Busey and he says he wants to talk about cancer.  I can’t leave the door open, I’ve got a rambling Jack so I say come inside, are you sure your name isn’t Gary?  He brought up people near here having cancer and tried to get me to remember their names.  Say sure Gary, I know a bunch of people around these parts with cancer…do you think there’s something in the water?  He said no no no,  Are ya here for fund raising a cancer victim?  Oh no…

Gary was an insurance salesman and he was chewing on a brand new piece of gum.  I had been rummaging through my purse for a piece of gum right before he knocked on the door.  I asked him if he had another piece of gum.  He fake checked his pockets and said no…but I have a piece in my car?  Go get it Gary, please?  He became baffled and said well my car is down the street.  I followed him out with Jack in toe and he said well it’s down that other street.  Are you that hard up for a piece of gum?