Turn around

Sunday, 12:39 am
Listening to: "Crawl" by The Dreaming, "Digital Bath" by the Deftones, "Forever Lost" & "Face the Music" by Conjure One

Does anyone else find the first  sentence of an entry the hardest thing to write (next to a decent title)? It’s always the hardest to write when I have a whirlwind going on w/in my mind. That’s always the best time to write.

Talked to my sister about Shawna moving in on Tuesday. By Wednesday night, Shawna was heading to spend her first night in her new home after work on Wednesday. Took some charity from a second hand shop. I’m sort of a broke person so I talked to the person working there, told her Shawna’s story & asked if they had any sort of program to help out people like her. The woman told me that they only do those sort of things for social workers. I told her that was not possible b/c Shawna doesn’t want to get slapped into a foster home. (I don’t blame her, I’ve been in one & unless you’re REALLY lucky & get a decent one, they’re the type of places kids run away from).

The woman bent the rules for me a little. My mother actually helped talk the women into it. Anyway, they gave us a bed frame, foot board, head bored, 4 pillow cases, a bunch of sheets & blankets, a pillow, comforter, towels, & washcloths, all for free. I had to give them a bunch of information about me, including showing my ID & giving them my phone number.

I called around & found a twin bed for her for $50. My mom & I picked up it up in her Legacy. After that, we headed over to my sister’s. Her boyfriend, Chris, & already pretty much cleaned out the room. We moved other stuff off & carried all the stuff up. It was a productive day off.

It sounds like things are going good over there so far. Shawna seems really happy & loves all the cats being around.

I was flying pretty happy for a few days after that (& quite a few days before that too). Tonight I put up the Christmas tree & for some reason, my mood just completely crashed. I didn’t even see it coming. Apparently, something akin to a switch just flipped in me. Ugh, fuck, worries about being bipolar. Considering that always makes me feel really anxious. After all, two of my immediate family members have been diagnosed w/it. Anyway.

Haven’t heard from Alicia in like… 2 weeks? A month? I don’t know what the hell. But now I’m feeling too anti-social (but still, somehow, extremely lonely) to do anything about it right now. I’m working eight days in a row right now, so if this mood doesn’t end it soon (rather, if I don’t end this mood soon), it’s going to be a very long 4 days.

Though, I think for tonight, I’ll curl up on the couch & mindlessly channel surf until I find something that strikes my interest.

Peace.