It hurts so bad

Hey Everyone,

     I am sorry for not gettin back with the pictures but I just haven’t had the heart to do such right now. Yesterday while I was cleaning I got a phone call from my mother telling me that my great grandmother was back in the hopsital after a mssive heart attack Sat. night. We knew she had conjestive heart failure, but this caught us by a surprise. My mother proceeded to tell me that the prognosses wasn’t good and that they were already giving her morphine. She then asked me to call my sister because she was on my grandmothers phone at the hospital because she had forgotten hers at home, and that she would keep me posted on what was going on. I then called my sister and told her the news, now both of us are 2 1/2 hours away from where this was all taking place, so we probably both feel really helpless. I then call my husband and leave him a message because he was at work and I also call a close friend, also leaving a message because she was busy. I then continue with my cleaning until I had caught up. Finally, I get myself some food, talk to my husband and tell him to stay at work that we were not to go in yet. I then talk to my friend, all of which helped keep my mind off it and enjoy the evening. Around 9pm I get a call from my father telling me that she was still holding on at this point and that my Aunt Marie was now there with my grandmother, that way if my grandmother wanted to go home and sleep since she hadn’t had any for the past day or so. However, my grandmother opted to stay close to her mother. My mom calls me a little later asking that if they were to get the call in the middle of night would I want them to call me right away and I say yes, she has also told me that my great grandmothers kidneys were failing and that they were no longer helping her. Also I was told that after she was given the first shot of morphine that 15-20 mins. later she was screaming please just let me go up there. We believe that she was asking God permission to die and be taken to heaven. Around 4 am this morning I was called once again, this time to tell me it was all over and that she pretty much went fast. I am now sitting at work, hoping to get through the day without too much crying. I will be taking off Thurs. and Friday to go to the funeral and the viewing. My husband has been asked to be a Pole bearer for the funeral along side my great grandmothers 3 grandsons, Tim, Ed and Jon(my father), 1 grandson-in-law, Chip,and 1 great grandson, Richie. My husband is honored to do this. I just wish I hadn’t had to come back to Chicago Sat. night, then I could at least said goodbye. I haven’t had to deal with a major death in my family in a few years and have forgotten how hard it is. I am just thankful I have lots of memories of her and have been blessed to have her in my life this long. She was 97 when she died and I will always remember what day because it just so happens that today was also my parents 24th wedding anniversary. I promise I will be back soon to post pics of the Renaissance Faire, but for now I have to let myself just grieve and cry. Thanks for understanding.

Rest in Peace: Great Grandmother Katherine Benjamin 7-30-07