Talked to Boy…

So I was talking to Boy yesterday, and I had my hopes and dreams completely shattered. This is the majority of our conversation:

Him: There are only… well, only two people I
              can ever be myself around if I’m talking to them in
              person.
Him: Well, maybe three.
Him: And one of them is… well, she’s…
              unique.
Me: what do you mean?
Him: I don’t really know how to explain it.
Him: No, that’s bull shit.
Him: She’s… important to me.
Him: If you… know what I mean.
Me: i think so, yea.
Him: Well, I need to tell her.
Him: I’ve needed to tell her for about… 9
              months now.
Me: tell her what?
Him: How I feel about her.
Him: But I’m a bloody stinking coward.
Him: Especially when it comes to girls
Him: Even girls that I don’t feel ‘that way’
              about make me nervous.
Me: yea, i know what you mean. i mean, with
              guys.
Him: Well, I need to tell her. It’s getting…
              awkward.
Him: And more serious.
Him: I’m… thinking of her when I don’t want
              to. Looking at her when I don’t mean to.
Me: so…why don’t you tell her? maybe she
              feels the same way
Him: I don’t think so.
Him: We’ve talked about "us" before.
Him: Now, I lied to her when we did.
Him: But that’s not the point.
Him: Well, in order to explain, I’d need to
              tell you who it is.
Him: You know xxxxxx? (this is about the point where my heart sank about a gazillion feet, pummelling to the floor.)
Me: yes
Him: Well, it’s her.
Him: And a few – well, quite a few – people in
              the band(s) have stated multiple times that she and I
              would be a "cute" couple.
Him: She and I talked about it.
Him: She was pissed that people didn’t seem to
              realise that a guy and a girl can be friends, and just
              friends.
Me: ah
Him: I said I agreed
Him: This was… maybe early september?
Him: I dunno exactly
Him: But she would hate me if I told her.
Him: And I don’t want to lose her as a friend.
Him: But I should tell her, yes. She needs to
              know. I just need to work up the guts to do it
Him: I need to actually hear her reject me so I
              can get over her.
Him: Because I don’t want to feel this way
              about her.
Him: Especially since I’m still dating
              xxxxxxx.
Him: And I’m rambling now.
Him: A lot.
Him: Sorry
Me: it’s ok. i don’t mind.
Him: Alright.
Him: Well, I’m planning on telling her sometime
              soon. Very soon. As in before my birthday soon.
Him: My birthday is this Friday.
Him: So I’m talking like, tommorow soon.
Me: i see.

So that was pretty much the gist (jist?) of our conversation. I x’d out people’s names to uh..protect the innocent or whatever.

Anyway, so now I’m sulking.

Am I stupid for thinking that he was talking about me?

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