below.

how much better off are we
now that we’re minutes past…?
standing on the white sand
(here in the wilderness)
we see
the clouds of foggy exodus
are the distortion we need
to be kept from looking
to the other side.
how does it take that
i’m standing
how can i take that?
he’s demanding
that it’s never us.
(he knows.)
faith is
my God, i’m falling…
washing under and still inable
to get this right…
solemn discrepancy
i’m so many things
…and still not what i
ought to be.
never can i make it
of what’s stillborn inside
what can i make of this?
when my heart has been tried
void and lacking
crucified
weightless and terrified…
oh God, i hear You calling…
and step by step, this risk
…i just don’t understand.
but oh, You are so much greater
and i am in Your hands.
heavy something fierce,
God, i misunderstand…
but oh most High, You are awesome
and i know i’m in Your hands.

mould me and make me
after Thy will
while i am waiting
…yielded and still.