I really like being married. Hope it stays that way.

So July 19 is my 10th wedding anniversary. D and I married in Malibu at my former boss J’s house. She has, like, an actual castle. Well sort of. It’s a hunting lodge from 1914 that was built in the style of a castle. It’s amazing. She let me use her property for my wedding. It was 2008 and the state of California had legalized same sex marriage. About 5 months after we were married was the 2008 election when Obama won and California outlawed same sex marriage in a ballot initiative. The mormons and the catholics poured a bunch of out-of-state money into TV ads and bing, bang, boom my marriage was up in the air. Fortunately we were “grandfathered” in — stayed married and then California overturned proposition 8, and then in 2014 same sex marriage became legal at the federal level. If you’re not gay you probably don’t know all the details, it’s fine — it’s not your issue, I get it. However, it was for me never about the word marriage. It was about legal protection: being able to have family visitation in hospitals, being able to leave property to each other, qualifying as a spouse on insurance — on and on it really was about the money and legal protections we lost. If you’re religious and a staunch believer in opposite sex marriage, it’s fine, I get it. Though I never will get how my legal and financial protections impact on your freedom of religious expression. Don’t like gay marriage? Don’t get gay married. What am I missing? Really, though? I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to make an argument that didn’t depend on supernatural forces smiting us.

Today’s news that Kennedy is stepping down puts my marriage in jeopardy once again. It is not at all unthinkable that whatever white guy 45 puts up for Supreme Court, will be anti gay marriage. All it takes is one lawsuit and my marriage will cease to exist. Maybe even retroactively? So I’d owe back taxes or be responsible for repaying benefits I’d received as a married couple. Who knows? There’s nothing too evil for Trump or his enablers. They’ll put a baby in prison — they have no qualms about coming after my gay ass. And about one to two thirds of the population will sit by in agreement, apathy or ignorance (or some combination thereof) and allow it to happen.

So what to do? Well — I’ve been working hard to turn out the vote for the midterms. If you’re not registered, do so. It’s easy. If haven’t voted in a while, double check to make sure that your registration is up to date. Lastly, if you can, help out.