The Death of Passion

It is not a pleasant feeling. Being able to concede that everything you’ve ever asked for in a significant other just isn’t enough. Everything you ever listed on a page of requirements in younger years is met, but it still isn’t enough. Why?

I know why. It’s because I have two sides. One is firmly grounded in reality and is perfectly satisfied with what I have. I know I have something special and rare, something many people would do almost anything to have. But there is another side of me I have never been able to eliminate or reconcile with. That is the side of me that grew up believing in Disney and romance novels, the idealist who revels in imagination and can never be satisfied with reality because it never coincides with the perfection created in my head. As much as I would like for it to be otherwise, my dreams are just as unattainable as they were when I was 17 years old. It’s quite painful.

The passion that exists in life always inevitably fades. The butterflies, the intense yearning, the loss of breath at mere eye contact, the inexplicable shiver that rampages through the body at the slight physical contact….these are all part of a phase that always ends as the two people in question become accustomed to one another. It dies so early in comparison to the length of life and it’s so unfair. All the passionate emotions are left in the first developments of attachment. Everything after is just continued attachment, the formation of what some would call a more solid, enduring form of love. But is it love? Could it not just be continued attachment, care, and habit?

Love is for the young. Love is for teenagers. The naivete of that age allows for the feeling of special emotion, the belief that it will never end, the passionate assertion that you will ALWAYS feel this way for the other person and you would surely die if it were taken away.

We all change. We learn, we understand, we see the truth, and we accept it. It is a common belief that the passion of youth is ignorant. And to some ends, it is. They love based on physical appearance and a few clever lines of dialogue and it generally doesn’t go much farther than that. But, it is the older generations that spur this belief. They insist that true love comes with age and time. But is it true love at that point? When the passion and intensity are gone? I don’t think it is. I think it is a deep love, yes, but true, no. I think "true" love encompasses all aspects, and while it may not last forever, it does exist, just within a short window of time. It is the combination of physical love that arises from attraction, (the shivers and ecstatic feelings that come from mere looks and the slightest of contacts that I mentioned before), the mental love that comes from shared conversations, the appreciation of the person within the attractive shell, and the love that develops over time. It is possible to possess all these things at once; the problem resides in the fact that we begin to take the other for granted. We grow used to them. It’s only human nature. If you go to the gym constantly, your body becomes accustomed to the physical exertion and so it takes more and more weight to feel anything. And so the passion dies.

Sure it sparks here and there. Embers flare when hit by oxygen, but inevitably remain buried in the ashes of a much greater fire. It is a shame that it can’t last forever.

Halcyon

August 8, 2010

Passion doesn’t die if you make it a natural part of life. Just because one grows accustomed to it, doesn’t mean you feel nothing. If one becomes physical strong and can lift more before it hurts like it once did, it DOES NOT mean that the lifting of the weights does nothing, it DOES NOT mean you don’t feel it. Your argument here is fallacious.

Take your focus on negativity and pessimism for example. You’ve always written this way, you ARE accustomed to it, used to it (you’ve said as much), and it plays a role in your daily life most certainly. By your logic here then, it should totally lack all affect on your frame of mind, your mood and your feelings. And yet….it has EVERY effect on your frame of mind, mood and feelings. Fallacious.

Oh forgive me, I didn’t realize you could measure something that doesn’t have……oh you know….a system of measurement. You can NOT call ANYTHING that is qualitative ‘scientifically proven’ as quantitative because it’s just that; qualitative. Pseudoscience is just that. I think you’re just fishing around for a reason to explain away the way YOU feel, because YOU feel dampened.

Because you are hardly old. We could completely circumvent your argument by pointing out the facts here; you’re in the physical/mental prime of your life. In fact, you’re still ramping up to that, that being in your 30s. You haven’t even begun to hit the point where the body and mind break down.

Yes I remember (about the manic depression deal). And I don’t believe I’ve said a thing about true love and my opinion of it. So far I’ve only been critiquing the holes in your current argument for what you believe. Hell, maybe I even agree with you. ;p

And you’ll take such research at face value without stopping for a SECOND to think about why else it might be. Maybe they’re old enough and aware that their earlier ideas were foolish as hell. Or maybe that the situation was petty. Like someone telling rumors. Super big deal to kids, but adults realize it’s not really. Because someones point of view changes doesn’t mean OMGOSH THEYRE SO DULLED.

Few more things: If you remembered me you’d know I don’t mind your novels. ;p And that I do mind your pseudoscience. I am far, FAR from the majority. The majority of people are foolish kids, including the adults. And passion exists. And it’ll never die. Just find someone who’s a conduit of it and stick to em. ;]

Aww…no more novels for me apparently. That makes me sad. But not as sad as this entry. You’re settling for something ok, or perhaps even good. Settling is sad. Especially when you’re still so young and can clearly do better. I’d rather die than settle for less than what I’m worth. And I will if it comes to it. ;P You should too.

Oh it certainly is. And since one can change ones perspective….. You should change your own! To something more like mine. Breathe in the crisp winter air, fill up your lungs with that shock and live again. ^_~ Settling is not enough. And it should not be enough.

Remember, we talked about this once; the people who get the best things, who go the furthest, who achieve the most, are highly motivated people who don’t settle….if you settle, you will never get those things. You just need a dynamic lover, one whose shell shifts and changes. Such passion will never die. Don’t settle damnit. I’ll effing bite you. I’m warning you.

But it’s not the best! It’s not! How can you say that. >:{ I’m better for you than he is. And I’m not even that great. You can do better. Look deeper. Bust out the shovel man. DIG A DITCH. IRRIGATIONZ FTW!

Which makes the winter air metaphor altogether more relevant than it already was. ;P You know what it meant. I think you need to resolve your paradoxes. True paradoxy doesn’t exist. ;d Just need to find the unifying principle.

Btw, watch this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sZzCyJVb4o

Or just listen. The video doesn’t really matter.