Miracles

My life as of late has been just as my title describes… just plain miraculous.  I haven’t written in here in a bit, but I’ve had so much going on in my life and never really got around to writing about it.  Well, I’m back and writing about it.  Just a warning, though… this could be long.  I’m sure most of you won’t bother reading the whole thing, but it’s for me anyways.  After all, this is a journal for myself. 

As I’ve mentioned in past entries, I’ve decided to become active in church again, and I must say it’s the best decision I’ve made in years.  I honestly cannot even imagine my life without the church anymore.  I left for so many reasons to begin with, but I have many many more reasons never to leave again.  A lot of my friends don’t really understand the meaningfulness of my returning to church mostly because they are not religious people themselves, but a few do understand and they’ve been a huge source of strength for me.  I’ve even lost a few good friends along the way.  They simply don’t agree with my decisions regarding repentance and my decisions to pursue such a radically different direction in my life.  But you know?  This is their decision, and I have to just move on.

I have gained so many amazing friends over the past few months.  It’s just absolutely remarkable how much they’ve supported me and helped me with absolutely anything I might need.  Joey has been absolutely the best friend I could ever ask for, and I owe him so much.  His father, who happens to be the bishop of the ward has been a source of major confidence and spiritual uplifting to me.  I’ve struggled a lot coming back into the church and taking hold of the Gospel, but he has always managed to keep me on the right path and help me gain more clarity about things in my life. 

Speaking of changes… my body and my habits have changed immensely.  I’ve begun losing weight and becoming much more healthy than ever before.  I simply cannot eat nearly as much food as I used to or I get sick.  This is good because it is preventing me from gourging myself with food as I used to do on a regular basis.  I had major problems with depression and even this has pretty much disappeared completely.  The pills I’m so used to taking in the morning have taken the role decorations for my medicine cabinet.  I absolultely have no need for them.  I go to sleep no later than 12:30am and I wake up almost every morning around 7:30 or 8:00am.  I’ve never been like this.  My insomnia has pretty much completely disappeared.  I never have problems staying up really late at night anymore.  Heck, I just can’t stay up so late anymore.

I spend a lot of time at the Institute building hanging out with friends, doing work, and passing time between errands and such.  Our institute building is much like a haven for all of us to escape to during the day and it feels so good to spend time there.  Actually, I’m writing this as I sit here at the institute.  My daily schedule has been consumed by activities and service work.  Sundays are ward choir, church, ward activities and usually visiting with others in the ward.  Mondays I have Family Home Evening.  Tuesdays I have Institue classes.  Wednesdays tend to be date nights.  Thursday nights we play sports over at the Stake Center.  Fridays are Institute activities, and Satrdays I spend most of my time hanging out with friends and doing other service jobs that are needed.  Things go so much smoother as I keep myself busy, and I also avoid many temptations that have dragged me down in the past years. 

I had a disciplinary council last night which basically decided what the correct course of action would be for me in getting back into the church.  I won’t go into much detail, though because it is so private.  The main point, though, is that I am very close to returning to the temple and receiving my endowments.  My sister is getting married in December and I hope that I might be able to attend the sealing.  It’s just one of many sources of motivation I have to get things in order.  I haven’t met Paul, here fiance, yet, but I’m going to drive up to Utah in December to visit and spend some time with them.  While I’m up there, I’m going to visit some old friends and my cousin, Cherelle, who is up there working currently.  I’ll also be visiting one of the missionaries who has been helping me here get back into the church.  Elders Minnesota and Huffacher (we just call him Huffy) have also been an incredible help to me.  We’ve all become very good friends and Huffy is returning home from his mission in late November.  It’ll be really great to go visit hime while I’m in Utah. 

I’ve gotten to dating lately as well.  I went on a few dates with some girls I’d gotten to know, but it never really went much further than a first or second date.  However, I’ve been dating a wonderful young woman for the past 2-3 weeks now.  Her name is Emily and it’s been amazing how well things have clicked for us.  I met her a few months ago when first started coming back to church, but I didn’t really know much about her and she seemed really shy to me.  I was talking with some friends one night about dating and decided I was going to invite her over to help make some cheesecake with me.  I simply wanted to get to know her better, but I had such a good time with her that we eventually began spending more and more time together and it’s just become a full blown relationship.  We both share similar pasts with being inactive, and we spent pretty much the same time inactive as well… around 18 to 23.  She is 25, though, so she’s been active for almost two years, so it’s really helpful to see just how much the Gospel can transform someone completely.  She’s so incredibly spiritual and it really is something that I need in my life right now.  She is a constant reminder of how much potential I have and what I can do to improve my life on so many levels.  Oh, and did I mention that she’s absolutely gorgeous?  Freckles and curly hair just suck me right in.  I love every minute we spend together. 

Right now my ultimate goal is to get things in order so that I can go to the temple and receive my endowments.  It’s been far too long – almost 6 years – since I’ve been to the temple.  Studying the scriptures and prayer have become a major part of my life right now and it’s brought so many blessings to me.  I couldn’t be happier with my decision to return to the church.  I feel my self changing for the better every single day.  I hope that this feeling never ceases.