~;;{;;Chicago Baby!!;:};;~

I meant to write this sooner but things have been getting in the way  ((As dorky as this might be… Second Life lol))  But yes!! on to the Chicago story.  As I mentioned in my previous entry my essay was being published and put up for display in honor of my friend Erica and for Suicide Prevention among young adults.  On August the 28th I packed up my bags and headed out to the Windy City to see my essay on display with my beloved Boyfriend.  xD saying that makes me smile!

You know… I always figured that going to South Padres or to a beach of some sort would make the perfect romantic weekend get away… but going to a nice big city has its massive PERKS!

Well… Besides the insane Cab ride that cost us an arm and a LEG!! (100 bucks to get to the airport from our hotel… honestly wtf?!)) Most everything went great!

On our first day together I chewed his ear off with my insane talking… then again it was to be expected, my coworkers loaded me with sweets and soda!! So we drove the 8 hours to our hotel room, got a little turned around (turns out Google has the Springhills Inn on the wrong side of the highway)  But finally we arrived, tired and worn out for the night, we unloaded out bags, checked in and did our… ahem… deed, before going to bed… heh heh … no juicy details for you!  

The next morning, sometime around 9:30 ish we got up showered got dressed and had the front desk call us a cab.  ( I decided to wear my hair down without flat ironing… yeah… wont happen again if we go back…)  So took the cab to the airport, Hoped on the "L" and went in to the city.  It was soooo exciting!  Of course a little creepy at first… but… it was to be expected.   At first I thought the people in Chicago were rude, mainly due to people being a bit pushy, but eventually I did warm up to them.  

But here’s the big one.  We got LOST!  While looking for the exhibit!  We wandered the city for what felt like forever looking for the damn place but couldn’t find it, until a kind lady noticed us and asked if she could help.  (Lady with brown hair in Chicago on august 29th of 2010, by Washington street that stopped to help out two completely lost tourist and pointed them to the Daley Plaza.  THANK YOU!) We got there, read the essays, held back some tears as I saw the wonder of it, and just how many people came around to take part.  It was amazing.  

Once we were done there we wandered over to a nearby subway and nomed before heading out to see the museum and aquarium.  Just… WOW… Chicago.. I love you!  I loved all of it!! The Dinosaurs! the fishes! the Sharks! The Dolphins and all the amazing things I got to see completely blew my mind away! 

So we called it a night after going out to sit and touch the water on the lake, It was freezing… once at our hotel room we snuggled up and he ordered us some Chicago Style Pizza, LOVED IT.  and the night went on with a movie and eventually some kinkyness and then wonderful Sleep.

The second day we drove in to the city to visit one last museum.  The museum of science and something… cant remember.  But we spent HOURS there, just browsing the exhibits and playing with the fun games they had there.  We did this relaxation game thing where our brain waves would move the ball and…. i lost… it seems I cant relax as easily as he can and my imagination is extremely wild… or so i was told lol.  I was thinking of really bad naughty things while I sat in the chair.  

After the museum closed, and we were kindly asked to leave, we headed out to St. Louise.  Along the way there was a pretty nasty storm that made me want to curl up under a rock and cry, but Sam played the part of a perfect boy friend and held my hand the entire way while playing silly games with me, such as "never Have I ever" which eventually turned in to "I have done…" lol.  

We crashed at his aunts house in St. Louise.  Thanks Cathy!  And the next morning I was awakened by a soft kiss on the forehead and an "If you want you can stay in bed, I’ll go upstairs on my own." I would have… but that would have been rude, his aunt had made breakfast.  So once we ate something we headed out!, went to the Zoo, and got to see really sweet looking animals.  Did anyone know that the zoo in St. Lou is free!?  I was totally shocked!  

After the zoo we went by his old place and had lunch in one of his hang outs from when he was a kid,I liked the vibe that place had, really comfy and home like.  Once we finished our food we headed to the Arch.. Holy Hell!  In all honesty, its a must see!  It was amazing! not to mention it was rocking slightly due to winds from the approaching storm.  I got to look down at all the people on to the river and the building and the wonder that is just outside our doorsteps.  After the arch we headed out to meet up with his aunt and uncle for dinner, ended up at Noodles and Company. <3 Sweet!  After dinner we headed out for home and were, once again, caught in a storm.  It was nearly midnight when we arrived, so we were quick in climbing up the stairs and heading to bed.  The next morning he drove me home and we called it an end to our awesome weekend getaway! 

Impressive eh?  lol Yeah Long But I want to always remember this!  it was just so wonderful!

So we meet every weekend, I go stay at his place, considering that he lives a few towns over…. which reminds me he moved out of his roomates and got his own place, the idea is fascinating!  His place is wow.

this weekend we are ganna head out to Rockfest in KCMO, I won tickets!… How… god knows… I seriously dont even remember signing up for the thing… I remember signing up for a guitar and the such from Monster…. but nothing from budwiser… ah well.. Go me!

So going to the concerts should really lighten my week a bit more. 

I do however… have a confession to make.  I was sitting in my room, setting up a new bookshelf and putting things away when I came across my scrapbook… inside I found a letter…. that… dare I say it? …. made me cry.  

Its not the fact that the letter was from him… and you can bet your ass that its not because I miss him.  But as I read it, I found myself crying, realizing just how happy I was at the time, and that I really did care for him… somewhere deep within me I truly did love him.  Just the amount of devotion I set out in to it… It crushed me to realize that I gave so much, and struggled so much and did so much… and still I was tossed replaced… by someone who was truly worthy.  And as I read this… I felt that impending doom sweep in to my heart and take a hold of it… What if… just… what if… Sam does the same thing? I know I shouldnt think this way, I dont know if I love this guy yet,  I adore him and like him very much… but to love seems such a tricky thing now… If I give him my heart… he might shatter it… or toss it… or stab it… just like this stabbing feeling that I feel now…

Oh please… I Beg of who ever or what ever is out there…. please dont let it go the same way…. I don’t think I can stand the heart ache again.  

why cant I just be happy?…. without the fear of getting hurt again?

~Anti~

 

The Kirby Dance:

 

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